Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Deep Hugot Collections

Mga malalim o deep na hugot sa mga taong sawi sa pag-ibig or hopeless. Hugot para sa mga taong single o iniwan. Haha

Kahit sabihin mo pang matapang at matatag ka, kapag iniwan ka ng taong binigyan mo ng halaga, walang duda masasaktan ka.

***

Try mo naman mainlove sa taong seryoso,
Hindi sa taong puro lang gwapo,
para hindi ka naman puro reklamo na lahat nang lalaki ay manloloko.

***

Boy: Ano gusto mo sa isang lalake?
Girl: uhm.. Gusto ko yung masipag mag aral at maalaga sa pamilya.. Hindi yung puro lovelife inuuna.. ikaw ano gusto mo?
Boy: ewan ko, Gumagawa pa ko ng assignment. Wala pa ko alam dyan eh. Teka yung kapatid ko umiiyak.

***

Pahalagahan mo yung oras na kasama mo ang mga kaibigan mo. Iwan ka man ng mahal mo, sila pa rin yung masasandalan mo.

***

Nung nag-aaral pa ako, hindi ako ang pinakamagaling sa klase.
Ngayong malaki na ako, napatunayan kong hindi medal ang sukatan ng tagumpay kundi DISKARTE.

***

Ang relasyon ay hindi parang kanang kamay na kapag nangawit ka,
Mangangaliwa ka na.

***

RealTalk :
Hindi mo matiis ang isang tao dahil mahal mo sya pero natiis ka nya dahil alam nya na mahal mo sya.

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Habang mahal kita wag mo akong gawing tanga dahil pag ako naghanap ng iba "Who You" kana "Fvck You" ka pa.

***

Minsan may mga taong iniiwasan mong pansinin pero sa puso mo gustong gusto mo syang kamustahin.

***

Naka move on na daw pero stalk pa rin ng stalk sa profile niya

***

Pa fall ka, marupok sya. Bagay nga kayo

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Ang mga MANLOLOKO , parang LAMOK , kung kani kanino na dumadapo , NANANAKIT pa at nag iiwan pa ng MARKA.

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Lahat ng iniiyakan mo ngayon, pagtatawanan mo na lang balang araw.

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Kung ganda ng babae ang habol mo siguraduhin mong gwapo ka

***

Huwag kang magmahal kung ayaw mong masaktan.

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Hindi pwedeng ikaw na lang palagi ang taga salo. Paminsan-minsan, kailangan mo din bumato para hindi sila mang-abuso.

***

Yung akala ko sa akin ka lang nagsasabi ng I Love You at I Miss You, sa iba din pala.

***

Kapag namatay ako, wag kang iiyak ha? Kasi kapag umiyak ka, ibig sabihin mahal mo ako. Nakakalungkot kasing isipin na kailangan ko pa palang mamatay muna bago ko malamang mahal mo pala ako.

***

Kung babawas bawasan mo ang expectation mo, may chance na hindi ka masaktan ng husto.

***

Ang tiwala, parang sticker. Once na natanggal mo, maaari mo pa itong maidikit ulit pero hindi na kasing tibay ang kapit katulad ng dati.

Monday, September 18, 2017

Best of Christmas Jokes

A Light-bulb Moment

To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m turning my house into an Italian restaurant.

Patrick McLellan (@pmclellan)

Confessions of a Store Santa

While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. “If you get your train,” I told him, “your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?”

The boy became very quiet. So, moving the conversation along, 
I asked, “What else would you like Santa to bring you?”

He promptly replied, “Another train.”

From guy-sports.com

Did You Dye Your Beard?

You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger.

Robert Paul

The Wright Way to Give

One Christmas, my grandfather gave me a box 
of broken glass. He gave my brother a box of 
Band-Aids and said, “You two share.”

Steven Wright

Mazel Tov, Mary!

Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.

Andy Borowitz

Christmas Freedom

The holiday season: a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

Dave Barry

Better Luck Next Year

I once bought my kid a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying “Toys not included.”

Bernard Manning

Insulting Santa

This mall Santa seems insulted that I put down that protective paper before sitting on his lap.

Conan O’Brien

It Beats a Board Meeting

The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven’t seen for 20 minutes.

@juliussharpe

Scrooge, Junior Grade

Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: “Let’s play Christmas. I’ll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I’ll give you away.”
—Contributed by Mrs. Kenneth Labaugh

Part-Time Work

Scene: A man applying for credit 
at a department store.

Clerk: What do you do for a living?

Man: I’m a tree trimmer.

Clerk: What do you do after Christmas?

Ruth Sadeckas, Joelton, Tennessee

No Umbrellas at the North Pole?

Q: Why are Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen always wet?

A: Because they are rain deer.

Reindeer Lessons

Did you hear that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer never went to school?

That’s right—he was elf taught.

Green Thumb?

Q: Why does Santa have three garden plots up at the North Pole?

A: That way he can hoe, hoe, hoe!

Great White Christmas

Q: Who delivers Christmas presents to good little sharks when they’re sleeping?

A: Santa Jaws!

Oh, iGet It

Q: What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad?

A: A pineapple.

What Does December Have…

What does December have that other months don’t have?

The letter D.

Laughing All the Way!

Q: What is a lion’s favorite Christmas carol?

A: Jungle Bells.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things

Q: Why did the children call St. Nick “Santa Caus”?

A: Because there was Noël.

Open Mic Night at the North Pole

Q: What did the reindeer say before telling his joke?

A: This one’ll sleigh you!

Christmas in Eden

Q: What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

A: It’s Christmas, Eve!

Yule Log

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Yule log.

Yule log who?

Yule log the door after you let me in, won’t you?

Gift of The Magi?

This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend that all I wanted was an Xbox. That’s it. Beginning and end of list: Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine. Because I got her an Xbox.

Anthony Jeselnik

The Truth About Santa

I tell my kids that Santa is fat because he eats the children who get up early on Christmas morning. That way, I get to sleep in.

James Knowles, on topfive.com

‘Tis The Season…Isn’t It?

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also 
go in mid-December.

— Louis C.K.

Stop the Presses

These holiday “headlines” — concocted by the satirists at the Onion — are completely fabricated. And yet they have the ring of truth.

Coal Now Too Expensive to Put in Christmas Stockings

Study Finds Link Between Red Wine, Letting Mother Know What You Really Think

Accountants Pack Times Square for Fiscal New Year

Book Given as Gift Actually Read

Gift Exchange

My friend reviewed her young son’s fill-in-the-blank homework. One line: “At Christmas, we exchange gifts with ____.”

His response: “Receipts.”

Limited Knowledge

As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, I accidentally dropped one. "No problem," I said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate.

"You can’t do that," argued my four-year-old.

"Don’t worry. Santa will never know."

He shot me a look. "So he knows if I’ve been bad or good, but he doesn’t know the cookie fell on the floor?"

Alternate History

My mother cast one of her students as the innkeeper for the Christmas pageant. All the third grader had to do was tell Joseph, “There is no room at the inn.”

But during the performance—after Joseph begged for a room for his pregnant wife—the boy didn’t have the heart to turn him down.

“Well,” he said, “if it’s so urgent, come on in.”

The Little Man

A teenager waltzed into our jewelry store to buy a cross for her boyfriend. I showed her a selection, and she pointed to three: "Can I see that one, that one, and the one with the little man on it?"

"Oh," I replied. "You mean Jesus?"

Meet and Greet

Spotted outside a church in Michigan: "Honk if you love Jesus. Keep on texting while you drive if you want to meet him."

Waiting

My wife took our three-year-old to church for the first time. Getting impatient while waiting for the Mass to start, he turned to her and asked, "What time does Jesus get here?"

Christmas Eve Service

Just as I began my Christmas Eve service, the electricity in the church failed. The ushers and I found some candles and placed them around the sanctuary. Then I reentered the pulpit, shuffled my notes, and muttered, “Now, where was I?”

A tired voice called out, “Right near the end!”

Entrance to Heaven

Three men die on Christmas Eve and go to heaven, where they’re met by Saint Peter. “In order to get in,” he tells them, “you must each produce something representative of the holidays.”

The first man digs into his pockets and pulls out a match and lights it. “This represents a candle of hope.” Impressed, Peter lets him in.

The second man pulls out a tangle of keys and shakes them. “These are bells.” He’s allowed in too.

“So,” Peter says to the third man, “what do you have?”

The third man proudly shows him a pair of red panties.

“What do these have to do with Christmas?” asks Peter.

“They’re Carol’s.”

Into the Church

Three buildings in town were overrun by squirrels—the town hall, the hardware store, and the church. The town hall brought in some cats. But after they tore up all the files, the mayor got rid of the predators, and soon the squirrels were back.

The hardware store humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free outside town. But three days later, the squirrels climbed back in.

Only the church came up with an effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and made them members. Now they see them only on Christmas and Easter.

Interesting Gifts

For Christmas, I gave my kid a BB gun. He gave me a sweater with a bull’s-eye on the back.

Odd Christmas Visit

From an article on the Woolacombe Bay Hotel in Devon, England: "Their three-night Christmas break includes a packed program of family entertainment, a crèche, excellent cuisine, and a visit from Satan."

Weary Travelers

Worshippers are greeted by these words at the Travelers Rest Church: "Do Not Sit on Steps."

Honest Questions

Two kids are on their way to Sunday school when one says to the other, “What do you think about this Satan stuff?”

“Well, you remember Santa? This could turn out to be your dad too.”

Misplaced

A pastor I know of uses a standard liturgy for funerals. To personalize each service, he enters a “find and replace” command into his word processor. The computer then finds the name of the deceased from the previous funeral and replaces it with the name of the deceased for the upcoming one.

Not long ago, the pastor told the computer to find the name “Mary” and replace it with “Edna.” The next morning, the funeral was going smoothly until the congregation intoned the Apostles’ Creed. “Jesus Christ,” they read from the preprinted program, “born of the Virgin Edna.”

Quick Clean-up

Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."

Best of Halloween Jokes

Werewolf Junior

Q:  Mummy, why do all the other kids call me a hairy werewolf?
A:  Now stop talking about that and brush your face!

A Vampire’s Nightcap

Q:  What did one thirsty vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue?
A:  Let’s stop in for a cool one!

Sickly Vampire

Q:  How can you tell if a vampire has a horrible cold?
A:  By his deep loud coffin!

The Skeleton Gourmand

Q:  What do skeletons say before eating?
A:  Bone Appetit!

Thirsty Vampire

Q:  Why did the vampire get fired from the blood bank?
A:  He was caught drinking on the job!

Angry Vampire

Q:  What is a vampire’s pet peeve?
A:  A Tourniquet!

The Guest

Q:  Who did the scary ghost invite to his party?
A:  Any old friend he could dig up!

The Scariest Monster of All

Q: What do you call a man who lures women into his place and turns them into ghastly freaks?
A: A 1980’s hairdresser!

Good-Humored Monster

Q:  What goes Ha-ha-ha-ha!, thud!!! and keeps laughing?
A:  A monster laughing it’s head off!

Squashed Squash

Q:  How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
A:  With a pumpkin patch.

Fruit Bats

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A: A necktarine!

The Dumb Skeleton

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?
A: His heart wasn’t in it.

Dancing Monsters

Q: What kind of monster loves to disco?
A: The boogieman.

Obese Pumpkin

Q: What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A: A plumpkin.

Dieting Scarecrow

Q: Why didn’t the scarecrow eat dinner?
A: He was already stuffed.

Honest Ghosts

Q: Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
A: Because you can see right through them!

Superstitious Rodent

Q: When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
A: When you’re a mouse.

Witch’s Spell

Q: How do you make a witch itch?
A: Take away the W.

Vampire Love

Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It’s a pain in the neck.

A Demon’s BFF

Q: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

Thursday, August 4, 2016

#DutertePleaseAppointMe: Funny Tweets

Sikat at trending ngayon ang #DutertePleaseAppointMe (Duterte please appoint me) hashtag sa twitter at iba pang social media. Nag umpisa ito ng naibalita na si Mocha Uson ay gagawing Social Media Consultant ng Customs, dahil sa mga nakaraang mga buwan nabigyan din ng pwesto si Arnel Ignacio at Freddie Aguilar ng posisyon sa gobyerno. Na kumpirma na hindi totoo na binigyan si Mocha Uson ng Mocha girls ng posisyon, pero hindi pa din natigil ang trend na ito dahil may halong hugot at nakakatawa din. Ito ang mga collection ng nakakatuwang tweets ng mga kababayan natin sa twitter, may mga hugot din ang iba:

Gary V para sa Department of Energy

Sumusugal po ako sa pag-ibig, pwede naba ako sa PAGCOR?

Sanay naman akong mapaglaruan eh, pwede naba sako sa PAGCOR?

Umiinom po ako ng Enervon araw-araw. Ako nalang po sa Department of Energy

I've learned to guard my heart from all the stupidos who hurt me. Department of Defense, can I?

Magaling ako sa Clash of Clans. Baka pwede ako sa Department of Defense?

Alam ko paano magmahal ng sapat, at kung kailan ibigay ang lahat mai-salba ang relasyon. Department of Budget will do.

Palagi po akong humahabol sa kanya. Pwede na po ba ako maging secretary ng Department of Transportation?

Sinusportahan ko siya pati pamilya nya. Lahat ng gusto nya ibinibigay ko, pwede na po ba ako sa DSWD?

Puro ako gala, di na natigil sa bahay. Pwede na ako sa Department of Tourism.

Magaling po ako maglaro ng SimCity, DPHW na this.

Level 36 na po ako sa FarmVille. Pwede na ako sa Department of Agriculture.

Madali nila akong napapa-asa, meron man o wala, consistent.. PAG-ASA then?

Mapagmahal akong tao, pwede naba ako sa PAG-IBIG?

Madami na pong sumuko sa akin, pwede na po ako sa PNP.

Magaling ako mag-imbestiga ng manloloko. Pwede na ako sa NBI.

Ipinaglaan ko yung taong di naman ako kayang ipaglaban. Feel ko pwede na ko sa Supreme Court.

Malakas po ang appeal ko sa mga tao. Pwede na ako sa Court of Appeal.

Pag na aapoint ako sa DepEd, magkakaroon ng subject about "moving on." Tapos ituturo yun sa mga heartbroken.

Mahilig ako sa pineapple juice pwede nyo po bang i-appoint ako sa DOLE.

MAHILIG AKONG KUMAIN PWEDE NA AKO SA NFA

Alma Moreno para sa Department of Energy, para laging bukas ang ilaw.

MARAMI AKONG NARARAMDAMAN
PWEDE NA KO SA DOH

Nahirapan po ako sa exam kanina. Pwede na ba ako sa PAGASA?

I nominate Janina San miguel to take over Pantawid Pamilyang Pilipino Program because my pamily, my pamily, homaygad

MAGALING AKONG KUMAUSAP NG AFAM, PALITAN KO NA SI YASAY SA DFA

More tweets:

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Simple but Deep Quotes to Share or Tweet

English quotes or lines worth sharing on social media sites like Twitter or Facebook. Grab them and express your feelings of love, happiness, sadness or whatever mood you're in!

Appreciate those who love you. Help those who need you. Forgive those who hurt you. Forget those who leave you.

To be happy, you can't be too concerned with others opinions.

Life isn't about having things to enjoy life. It's about enjoying life with the things you have.

Dear Mom and Dad, I just wanna thank you for everything, I can't live the life I'm living now without you, I love you.

With or without problems, talk to God.

Never be afraid to fight for what you believe in.

We have 3 types of friends in life: friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime.

That feeling of emptiness whenever I think of us.

Falling in love with someone who doesn't like us, hurts.

I miss you, but whatever.

Don't lie, don't cheat, and don't make promises you can't keep.

I miss laughing with you and having a great time with you.

People leave. Life goes on.

I left because you never asked me to stay.

Don't be afraid of any rejections. It's part of our life.

Dear Twitter, thank you for letting me express my feelings.

Collect friends. Trust only those who are real.

I wish I could rewind time.

The past is in the past, learn from it and move on.

I'll be fine, I will be.

They ignore you now, but they'll need you later.

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings.

Stay calm. Everything has its own right time.

Best friends have conversations impossible to understand by other people.

No girl wants a guy who flirts with everyone.

Even the best fall down sometimes.

I know you’re sorry, but I just don’t know if that’s good enough.

Those songs that express the feelings you can't say.

Honest and true friends. Not fake friends.

Sometimes all you need, is someone who can make you smile.

Small things sometimes means a lot.

People change and things go wrong. Just remember, life goes on.

Not talking to you, kills me.

Judging me won't make you perfect.

Good or bad, just smile. You have a lot to be thankful for.

Minsan namimiss mo, pero minsan mas gusto mong kalimutan na lang.

Don't be sad. Always smile.

Slow down. Enjoy simple pleasures in life.

Someday, you'll meet someone who is worthy of all your efforts.

I hate getting flashbacks from things I don't want to remember.

Best friends are those who share tears and laughs with you. Most importantly, you can always count on when you need help.

Be careful what you say. Girls remember everything.

You can hide it but you can never run from your feelings.

If God is within your heart, He is always within reach.

Hirap umasa, sobrang sakit.

Never apologize for being you.

Wise enough to forgive, and strong enough to move on.

Stop counting days, start building memories.

Everything has reasons.

God, thank you for this wonderful day. ☺

Let go of the negatives.

I need to stop being so emotional about everything.

Do what makes you happy, and be with who makes you smile.

Hold on to whatever keeps you happy.

Dimples are so damn attractive.

Sometimes, just a hug will do. No need for advice.

If you like me, it's okay to tell me. If you don't, stop acting like you do.

Live your life while you still can. Tomorrow is promised to nobody.

My best friends aren't perfect but they could make my life perfect.

The more weird you are, the more fun you are.

I need more sleep, I need more money, I need more happiness.

The best feeling in the world is knowing that you actually mean something to someone.

Fake friends believe in rumors, real friends believe in you.

People cry because no words can express their feelings.

It's sweet when a person makes such an effort to be with you.

I don't need the whole world to love me, I just need a few sincere and great people who can accept me.

The worst feeling ever is the thought that you missed your chance.

Sometimes crying or laughing are the only options left, and laughing feels the best.

The purpose of our lives is to be happy.

Stay loyal. Stay faithful. Stay true.

In the end we only regret the things we didn't do.

I don't care if I don't sound good. This is my favorite song. I'm just gonna sing it.

People always leave. Don't get too attached.

Don't fall for sweet words. Fall for sweet actions.

I miss the way we used to text each other every day, now it's like we're strangers.

Be loyal to a person but don't forget your friends.

Nobody deserves to be treated like an option.

Do what makes you happy.

We meet people for a specific reason. They're either a blessing or a lesson.

Enjoy your life, make your dreams come true.

They're going to judge you anyway, so whatever.

Stop trying so hard for people who'll never care.

I hate going out when my phone isn't fully charged.

God, you've blessed me more than I deserve.

Don't be anything you don't want to be.

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Not every "sorry" deserves an "it’s okay" in return.

The perfect boyfriend doesn't smoke, drink, cheat, and exist.

I dont judge. I just say what i feel.

Be happy in front of people who don't like you, it kills them.

You always make me smile.

Life is way better when you're laughing.

Earphones in. Volumes up. Ignore the world. Escape reality.

Tropa? It consists of the best people.

No one wants to be treated like an option.

I'm going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like it's all a dream, and pretend like it's not hurting me.

I hate it when I forget to press send, and I'm sitting there like an idiot waiting for a reply.

I miss how happy I used to be when I was a little kid.

I believe that someday I can look into your eyes na wala nang feelings sa'yo.

Stop worrying about what might hold you down, and pay attention to why you're standing up.

Someday, you'll meet someone who is worthy of all your efforts.

Hugging a pillow and imagining it's the person you love.

Smile. Even amazing people have struggles too.

My feelings. You will never ever understand that.

Make sure you know the whole story before you jump to conclusion.

Texting is fine, calling is okay. But being with you is the best.

The memories are priceless.

Why stress over something you can't change, just shake it off and enjoy life.

I have a hard time trusting people.

No more expectations.. Just gonna go with the flow, and whatever happens, happens.

I automatically smile when you message me.

I get jealous because I love you, and I don't want anyone else to have you.

Never give permanent feelings to a temporary person.

Try to see the good in everyone.

Admit it, at some point in time you've tried to see if you have superpowers.

Never judge someone, everyone has a story.

It's not wrong to give up and cry when you cannot take the pain. Remember even clouds cry when they cannot carry the rain.

Be with someone who won’t stay mad at you, who can’t stand not talking to you, and who’s afraid of losing you.

Don't get too attached. Never.

Don't cry for anyone who won't cry for you; and don't fight for anyone who won't fight for you.

As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.

WORST FEELING: Being compared. Being ignored. Being rejected.

No regrets. Just lessons learned.

Stay strong, be positive. We all struggle sometimes.

Dear Someone, I don't know why but I think I really am just starting to like you.

I'll be fine, I will be.

Telling someone how you feel is honestly the hardest shit ever.

Give yourself a break. Don't stress too much.

Sometimes music speaks what you feel inside.

Something I learned about people... If they do it once, they'll do it again.

Letting go means you're strong enough.

Sometimes crying or laughing are the only options left, and laughing feels the best.

I don't need a perfect person, I just need someone that can make me happy and complete my life perfectly.

Best friends make life so much better.

The nicest people always get treated like shit.

Dear God, no matter what is going on in my life I thank you for the privilege of being alive today.

Yes, I admit. I miss you.

Never give up! Great things take time.

I miss the way we used to text each other every day, now it's like we're strangers.

I need actions not words.

Remain strong when things fall apart.

What hurts you today, makes you stronger tomorrow.

Every girl has her bestfriend, boyfriend, and true love. But you're really lucky if they're all the same person.

Without trust, there is no relationship.

Happiness is a choice. Choose it.

Real friends know when you're sad even if you're smiling.

Don't let stupid things break your happiness.

Sometimes the only person you can trust is yourself.

You still make me smile. Even if you are the main reason why I'm sad.

She's hurt a lot more than you think.

If someone really wants to see you, they'll find a reason, they'll find a way, and they'll make the effort.

Real feelings dont change fast.

Music always puts me in a better mood.

I wish my phone came with unlimited battery life and strong internet connection.

People these days gain attention by losing respect.

Appreciate the little things I do for you.

True love isn't Romeo and Juliet who died together. It's Grandma and Grandpa who grew old together.

Don't lie, don't cheat, and don't make promises you can't keep.

A good relationship is definitely worth the wait.

In life, I grew up, I learned what's best for me, I let go of things, I lost things and I learned to be better.

If you don't like me then I'm cool with that, just don't pretend that you do.

Jealousy will kill you mentally.

When the memories hit you... that shit hurts.

Apology accepted, trust denied.

Maturity comes with experience, not age.

Enjoy your life without comparing it to others.

I know you’re sorry, but I just don’t know if that’s good enough.

Be strong and move on. It's time.

Hope but never expect. Look forward but never wait.

Stuck in between not caring at all, and caring too much.

I don't care how we met, I'm just happy we did.

I just wanna go on a road trip with good friends and have good times.

Don't listen or think about anything negative other people say about you. Just live your life and prove them wrong.

Respect people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them.

Be real with me, or just leave me alone.

I wanna see new places and meet new faces.

Grades are just numbers.

All I need is someone who won’t give up on me.

I'm a teenager, my hobby is to stay up late every night.

It is never too late to make things right.

A jealous girl is a faithful girl.

Never give up on something you really want. It’s difficult to wait, but worse to regret. F

Honest and true friends. Not fake friends.

if I have a time machine, promise I'll fix my past.

Be strong when things fall apart.

So many judgmental people nowadays.

Know your worth. Know when you have had enough. And move on from the people who keep ruining your happiness.

Even though I don't know what tomorrow will bring, I am going to think positive and hope for the best.

I hate how everything I want costs money.

Dear music, thank you for making me feel happy when no one else could sincerely, loneliness.

Every time I'm in a bad mood, I just need someone who can make me laugh.

Learn to let go. Not everyone in your life is meant to stay.

Remember me? I used to be your world.

Do what makes you happy, and be with who makes you smile.

Dear God, I know I am not perfect but thank you for loving me anyway.

The scariest thing about distance is that you don't know whether they'll miss you or forget you.

That horrible moment when you can feel someone losing interest in you.

You never lose friends. You just discover who your real friends are.

Don't bother apologizing if you're just going to continue doing the things you said sorry for.

Never compare yourself to anyone.

I miss you and I just wanna see you right now.

I wish I could read people's minds.

Life was never meant to be easy.

Best revenge: smile, be happy and never let them know it hurts.

Life is incomplete without abnormal friends.

Things change, people change, but God remains.

Missing someone and not being able to see them is the worst feeling ever.

Don't fight for their attention. If they really care, you shouldn't have to.

A kiss on the forehead is one of the sweetest things in the world.

Being single is cool. No worrying about anyone, no obligations and best of all, no heartaches.

People make mistakes but it doesn't make them stupid.

Honestly, I'm glad I met everyone in my life. The good and the bad. The good make me thankful, the bad make me learn my lessons.

When the memories hit you... that shit hurts.

Life is incomplete without abnormal friends.

My worst fear is losing you.

Aircon o love life, pareho nalang. Pareho namang COLD yun.

Don't act as if you know everything.

Find someone worth your tears, worth your laughter, worth your heart, and that loves you as much as you love them.

Sometimes all you need, is someone who can make you smile.

Know your worth. Know when you have had enough. And move on from the people who keep ruining your happiness.

Yes, I'm smiling, but deep down I'm crying.

The memories are priceless.

That "gusto ko pero nahihiya ako" feeling.

Never cry for someone who hurts you, just smile and say thanks for giving me a chance to find someone better than you.

K' is the most annoying letter ever.

I hate when I forget to press send on my phone, then sit and wait there for a reply like an idiot.

God, thank you for this wonderful day. ☺

Opinions aren't facts. Stop worrying about what people think about you

Crying is not the solution but crying makes you feel better.

Dear God, thank you for being there when nobody else was.

A single text from you can change my mood at any moment.

Make no apologies for your personality.

People cry because no words can express their feelings.

Friendship is not about who you spend the most time with, it’s about who you have the best time with.

Wise enough to forgive, and strong enough to move on.

Don't let stupid things break your happiness.

Pain makes you stronger. Fear makes you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser.

Stop worrying about someone that isn't worried about you.

Never give up! Great things take time.

A broken heart is what changes people.

Music always helps, no matter what you're going through.

I won't start the conversation but I'm dying to talk to you so I'll just wait.

Don’t call it problems. Instead, call it challenges.

Haters will always hate no matter how good you are, so be yourself and do whatever you wanna do, life is so short, you only live once.

Bed in the morning > School.

I like reading but not my school books.

I hate how people don't really know you, but they judge you anyways.

Expectation is a crime. Disappointment is the punishment.

Music is my life, the lyrics are my story.

Too bored to do nothing. Too lazy to do anything.

Life is too short to be stressed.

Just keep calm and focus on the positive.

Just keep it real with me, I'll respect you way more.

Don't chase people. Be you, do your own thing and work hard. The right people who belong in your life will come Fto you, and stay.

Sometimes you can't explain what you feel for a person.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, no matter how right or wrong they are. Quit worrying about what others think.

Everybody wants a second chance, but not everybody deserves one.

Everything happens for a reason. Trust God.

Keep calm and carry on. Don't let people bring you down. Focus on those who love you, forget the ones who don't.

True love and loyal friends are two of the hardest things to find.

Sometimes, the little things mean the most.

I don't need rich friends. All I want are real one where I can laugh with, feel comfortable, hangout and have the same craziness.

Pretending to be happy when you're in pain is just an example of how strong you are as a person.

Life is way better when you're laughing.

Loyalty is everything.

Trying times are not the times to stop trying.

I'm so happy with the small circle of people I have in my life right now.

Bestfriends are still the best couple.

Earphones in. Volumes up. Ignore the world. Escape reality.

Twitter is like my diary, I express my feelings by tweeting.

Beauty attracts the eye but personality captures the heart.

If you still think about it, you still care about it.

Texting is fine, calling is okay. But being with you is the best.

That awkward moment when you're talking and you realize no one is listening.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just waiting to see if you'll put in the effort to talk to me.

You don't always get what you wish for, but you always get what you work for.

Life is all about acceptance. Seeing and hearing things you don't always want to, and just moving on.

Admit it, at some point in time you've tried to see if you have superpowers.

Don't give up on the things that make you smile.

One day, someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else.

People change easily. Deal with it.

Saying sorry doesn't solve the problem. It's what you do after that truly counts.

You can't force someone to stay in your life. Staying is a choice, so be thankful for the person that chooses you.

Some people come into your life as a blessing. Some come as a lesson.

I’m pretty sure if I didn’t always text you first we would never talk again.

Just do whatever makes you happy.

Falling in love is easy, staying in love is hard, letting go is harder and moving on is the hardest.

I’m just thankful for the people that never left me.

Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed.

I can't lie, I think I'm missing something and that's you.

The best relationships are the ones you didn't expect to be in; the ones you never saw coming.

The less people you have in your business, the less drama you will have in your life.

Move on from the people who keep ruining your happiness.

Standing alone is better than standing with people who constantly hurt you.

It's better when we get to sleep together

Be with someone who won’t stay mad at you, who can’t stand not talking to you, and who’s afraid of losing you.

Sometimes you have to walk away from what you want to find what you deserve.

Smile like nothing even happened.

You shouldn't have to change for anybody. If they don't accept you for who you are, find someone who will.

I'll pretend I'm okay.

The worst feeling is, not knowing whether you have to wait or give up.

You were born to make mistakes, not fake perfection.

Jealousy is normal in a relationship, it shows someone doesn't want to lose you.

I love people I can be crazy with.

Wag kang magmadali, God knows when the right time is.

You always make me smile.

Dear phone, without you my life is AWKWARD.

Unplanned moments are always better than the planned ones.

RT if you're missing someone.

The little things mean the most.

When I find a song that relates to my current situation, I listen to it over and over again.

Sometimes the best way to appreciate something is to be without it for a while.

I wish I could download money.

Even the best fall down sometimes.

My phone is always there when I need it the most, it is like my super true best friend in every situation.

Music sounds better when the song describes how you feel.

Music always puts me in a better mood.

The hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love, fall in love with someone else.

No matter how much I sleep, I am still always so tired.

Anyone can make you happy by doing something sweet but only someone special can make you happy without doing anything.

Of all the lies I've heard, "I love you" was my favorite.

Crying is not the solution but crying makes you feel better.

Keep fighting for what you believe in.

I hate how jealous I get over you.

Dear pillow, sorry for all the tears.

Stop worrying about what might hold you down, and pay attention to why you're standing up.

My attitude is based on how you treat me.

I'm sick of checking my phone and not seeing your name.

1000+ Hugot and English Quotes

Daily Pinoy Jokes have reached more than 1000+ combination of hugot (from English, Bisaya, to Tagalog) and Jokes as well. Thank you for helping this page prosper, more jokes and hugot lines or quotes coming in this month of August!

Here are additional collections of Hugot that you can share on the internet or any social media websites:

More English Quotes or Hugot: Sayings Library

Let them know what you're feeling by posting these quotes into your wall, both English and Tagalog (Filipino). This is for the heartbreaks, for the inspired and to those who have lost trust to somebody:.Advisable for those in a relationship or wants to be single (for a reason), tweet this on twitter or share it on Facebook:

Things won't get better until you make them better.

Loyalty is rare. If you find it, keep it.

The worst feeling: Not getting a reply back from someone you really want to talk to.

Know your worth. Know when you have had enough. And move on from the people who keep ruining your happiness.

It's impossible to find someone who never hurts you, so go for the one who's worth the pain.

No attachments, no heartaches.

Don't waste your time on someone who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

Hindi birong maghintay sa wala.

I'd rather be the sarcastic and harsh best friend, than be the fake and insecure friend.

God's never stop guiding us and protecting us.

I hate seeing you because you bring back the feelings I try so hard to forget.

Ang dami mong naiisip pero hindi mo masabi.

You never lose friends. You just discover who your real friends are.

Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Silence is the best answer to a stupid question.

In life, I grew up, I learned what's best for me, I let go of things, I lost things and I learned to be better.

I wish I can reverse time.

Let your dreams be bigger than your fears.

The worst feeling is, not knowing whether you have to wait or give up.

Be mature enough to accept rejections and failures.

Stuck in between not caring at all, and caring too much.

Everything is going to be alright, maybe not today, but eventually.

I want you to miss me, like I'm missing you.

I distance myself from people for a reason.

She is hurting, a lot more than you think.

I'm not afraid to try again, I'm just afraid of getting hurt for the same reason.

Not everyone will understand you.

Mabait akong tao, pero marunong din akong makiramdam pag umaabuso na kayo.

Do what makes you happy, and be with who makes you smile.

Let go of the negativity, focus on the good.

God always gives us unexpected blessings.

Yung alam mong di naman sya magtetext sayo pero nag-eexpect ka pa rin.

Kung ayaw masagot ng PABARA, huwag magtanong ng PATANGA.

Kunwari wrong send pero sinadya mo naman talaga.

I just want to have day off, of everything in my life, where I don't have to worry and think about everything.

You're the best thing that has ever happened to me.

A kiss on the forehead is one of the sweetest things in the world.

Yung akala mo masungit, yun pala napakabait.

Minsan kasi kahit tapos na, affected ka pa rin.

A relationship where you can act like complete idiots together is probably the best thing ever.

Don't let your past kill your future.

Judging others will not make you perfect.

I miss you and I just hate that feeling.

Yung kaibigan natin na hingi ng hingi ng advice pero di naman sinusunod.

A real friend has your back no matter what.

Dear phone, without you my life is AWKWARD.

Gusto kong sabihin sayong nasasaktan ako, kaso wala ka nga palang pake.

I found myself secretly stealing glances of you when you're not looking.

Just stay positive, it will get better.

Mas malaki si God sa kahit anong problema mo.

Simple "Hi" can make us smile but simple "bye" can make us cry.

The nicest people always get treated like shit.

Music always puts me in a better mood.

Stop holding on to people that have let go of you.

Yung tanggap mo na, pero ang sakit pa rin.

First you care. Then you get hurt.

Wala akong pakielam sa sasabihin nila, kasi mahal kita.

You may be able to find someone to replace that somebody, but you still won’t be able to replace all the memories

Yung tipong pag nagsama-sama kayo ng mga kaibigan mo, daig pa ang nag-aaway sa kanto sa sobrang ingay niyo.

Dear brain, I need to stop overthinking.

Can we start all over again? Do it right this time?

One old song. A thousand old memories.

Sometimes you get stuck between love or friendship.

I admit, I really miss how things used to be. But I can also admit, that I've accepted the fact that things have changed.

No expectations, no disappointments.

Ipakita mong kaya mong mabuhay na wala siya.

Fake smile on the outside, real pain on the inside.

Nung nakita ko yung mukha mo nagkaroon agad ako ng "trust issues"

Making mistakes does not mean you're a failure. It just means you're a human trying and learning in life.

A simple "I miss you" can change everything.

Real men stay dedicated to one girl.

Yung kapag wala siyang morning message, parang wala kana agad sa mood.

Pain makes you stronger. Fear makes you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser.

Fake promises? I hate that shit.

Good relationships dont just happen. It takes time, patience and two people who truly wanna be together.

Minsan isang tao lang ang kailangan mo para gumanda ang mood mo.

Rejection is the reason why people deny what they really feel.

Always know the difference between what you're getting and what you deserve.

Just one text from you can make my entire day better.

You were born to make mistakes, not fake perfection.

You shouldn't have to change for anybody. If they don't accept you for who you are, find someone who will.

Enjoy your teenage years. It's not always bad to break the rules.

Nakakamiss yung pakiramdam na importante ka sa isang tao.

Hard times reveals true friends.

Surround yourself with good people, and good things will happen.

Eating is probably my favorite sport.

They say time heals all, but without you by my side, time stands still.

I'm going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like it's all a dream, and pretend like it's not hurting me.

Physically, mentally, emotionally tired.

Saying sorry without sincerity is bullshit.

Sometimes you just cant tell someone how you feel, you can never really find the right words to make them understand.

True love isn't Romeo and Juliet who died together. It's Grandma and Grandpa who grew old together.

One day, you'll realize how much I cared.

I hate when you're so excited for something but then it ends up not happening.

You just have to do your own thing, no matter what anyone says. It's your life, your rules, be the best person you wanna be.

I spend too much money on food.

Sometimes, it's not the person you miss. It's the feelings and moments you had when you were with them.

I may not be the smartest, or nicest person in the world, but I can say that I am proud of who I am.

The best things happen unexpectedly.

Happy memories are just so hard to forget.

Respect, don't judge. Listen more, talk less. Understand, don't assume. Forgive and forget.

Don't compare me to other people, I'm not like them, I'm ME.

Happy outside, broken inside.

The memories are priceless.

Be thankful for everybody in your life, good and bad, past and present. They all made you the person that you are today.

A broken heart is what changes people.

Do not be too confident that he loves you. As forces of wine he could speak to you, he may also vomit.

In a relationship, no matter how carefully you hold the one.. Yet you have lost it.. Because he had released the hold earlier.

How can you love someone else. If you’re returning to the past.

Laugh hard if you are not really happy, even if you smile, we still have to be hard on the eyes to feel the loneliness.

Do you want to look for the qualities of former dear, that you want to cherish. Nobody and nothing can have such love story closely and similarly… Others may experienced in the present!

In love, do not insist on things because that can not be done.

Someone quickly fall in love and suddenly left, and you forget about it and then you are still the same.

Who was the cause of the complaints … We bet you, she is also the cause of severe crying.

I’m the type of person to grumble but I also have to smile at the person who wishes to us.

If you want to be part of my life, make sure that you are ready to accept not only the good parts but also my stupid side.

Do not go stupid on who you have ignored.

Yet I fight for what I love you if I just feel it.

Do not believe what you just said ‘baby’. You may not be aware of the triplets as well!

Never make permanent decisions on temporary feelings.

You can lose weight by running away from your feelings.


You would have wasted the past. But here you are today. Ignoring the present. What else would you deal with the future if only just uttering the word ‘waste’.

Why are we asked a question whether the proposition will move on? You know you did not receive answers to yourself that you end up.

I could not handle taking the word ‘just simply’, as long as you do not treat me like a ‘NOTHING’.

Do you train someone even if you are guilty, then he shall humble because there are two things to be abusing the kindness you or your stupidity.

Think First! If you do get hurt, Because the ‘SORRY’ claim only sin, but not correct the ERROR.

The women, they like my sense of belongingness. They’d known they were family, and among your friends.

Do you really love people too, if only that was fashionable to leave.

If you are asked whether you love chocolates or flowers… Be practical! Rise.!!! Men Rise!

The love seems cold, why do you keep pulling it back when its better to let go.

Its okay to have a friend they naturally belong to the multitudinous friends but I know you just may need me.

Not all friend, advised. Others, you have to fight for conscious.

Were previously just said, I love you to feel that. Now, I love you, just like thank you.

Those women who are not acting little bit just as we are. Ha ha!

True love is like a faithful Students exam. Even struggling, still not looking at others.

If you’re looking for respect, you must first respect yourself.

If you loved me true and ethical. I had not lost peace and mercy.

Professed quotes but will have to aim deep inside.

Making mistakes is better than faking perfections.

You were born with the ability to change a person’s life – never waste it.

Do not force yourself to those who do not like you.

When you tickle yourself, you’re not laughing. But when other do you, you laugh. Do we really need another for fun?

If you want to be part of my life, Make sure you are ready to accept not only the good parts but also my stupid side.

You do not need to put a band-aid to the bleeding wound more… Love is also like that… Do not find the loopholes, if you know you love him …

You are lucky that there is no gap to be a mother, There was another happy child ? Because they hear their mothers.

Stay true to yourself, because there are very few people who will always be with you real.

Some people do not want their lives to interfere. But they’re the number one meddles in the lives of others.

Even to many people in the world, if you really loved her, you may not love others. Sometimes it just depends on how flirty you are.

Not all sweet is loyal to you. Remember, sweet as candy, but wrapped in plastic.

Not to us or those who “Learned to be a fool, Prepare yourself.” Because today “The stupid learns from fool again later”.

If you do, you’re really the advice of a friend who fed up with the stupidity.

Sometimes these men give up sweet like load. Unlimited! To turn all networks.

Stick to one guy. It’s not 3 in 1.

If you love someone, do not be stupid! Don’t let others seize him. Because you find that fun with others, you might regret .. And you say, ‘You must love me if I Tanga’

I think i’ll be bad because people who revile them. I had no choice but to laugh with stupid believe.

Not because of the distance between you and each other to not give up when you start. If you love, can do each other all the way.

Those men were not tired of you never understand. Even so moody yet.

No one busy for the people he loved, unless ‘less he loved my reason for being busy it!’

We will make up one’s face. But the habit free to adorn that have not yet done.

There are things really fun in the beginning. Try to withstand the pain.

I still hope that touches you and resumes his mind – he felt.

You do not need to be wise to just say that you love someone with my love of others.

If you want to be part of my life, make sure you are ready to accept not only the good side but also my stupid side.

Do not fool the person who is very loved. The more we know that the person who loved too much, but sought out more.

We were given the opportunity to be stupid but not to be hired for free in a day.

Hopefully people like cellphone die spontaneously, when faulty.

Sweat are like tears, not just from the eye… But it provide assistance to tired! right?

More English Quotes: Simple but Deep English Quotes to Share or Tweet

Saturday, July 16, 2016

Hugot o Jokes ni Bassilyo

Ito ang mga nakakatuwang joke, patama o nakaka-relate na hugot ni Bassilyo. May english at Tagalog version. Hindi lang mga joke ang meron dito kung di hugot para sa mga sawi sa buhay at pag-ibig. May mga nakaka-insultong patama lines din dito.

Dear Crush,

Kahit hindi tayo umabot sa edad na 70 basta makapag 69 tayo. Masaya na ako.

* * *

Kung boobs lang ang habol mo sa mga babae. Dun ka nalang sa alaga mong baboy ng kapitbahay nyo. Walo dede nun magsawa ka!

* * *

Tatlong (3) pinakamasakit na bagay

1. Itago ang tunay na nararamdaman.

2. Mahalin ang taong may mahal ng iba.

3. Magmahal muli.

* * *

Marriage is like a walk in the park.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Jurrasic Park.

* * *

You know why alcohol is better than milk?
Panget kasi pakinggan yung, "Tara pare dede na tayo"

* * *

Lahat tayo ay may karapatang magsalita. Pero wala rin tayong karapatan manakit ng kapwa.

* * *

Kapag sinabihan ka ng insecure kahit wala naman dapat kainggitan. Itanong mo sa kanya kung saan banda, sa katawan mong laspag? O sa mukha mong basag?

* * *

Kapag panget ka matagal daw malowbat ang cp mo. Totoo ba?

* * *

Minsan kahit sabihing mong suko ka na. Kapag naalala mo kung paano ka niya napasaya. Bumalik ka ulit sa pagiging tanga!

Friday, July 15, 2016

Duterterism Lines

Dutertisms (2)

When a public  figure of lesser stature says it, it is merely an opinion. When President Rody says it, it is policy.  Here are more “Dutertisms” or  quotes from the President, lifted from his various speeches.

On the South China Sea question:

“ I want a soft landing for everybody.”

“God knows the last thing I want to do is to fight. If we can just sit down and talk, I would be very happy.”

On the peace process:

“Let us build a nation that is founded on peace and understanding.”

“We are a nation. We are all sisters and brothers by blood.”

“It is a useless war. Bakit tayo nagpapatayan? Magnegosyo na lang tayo lahat. Total ang Maranao dumating na doon sa Abra.” (in reference to the ubiquitous Maranao small businessmen selling their pirated DVDs.)

“We need to insure inclusivity in the peace process.” 

“What you give to the MI (LF), must be given to the MN(LF).”

“(Peace in Mindanao) ..will not come overnight…Certainly it will not come next year. Probably it will be something (like) two to three years from now. But I assure you, something will change before I end my term.”

On walking the talk:

“A promise is a promise. My word of honor is something I value very much…. Kung ano ang sinabi ko, yun na yun.”

On Corruption:

“Corruption must stop. Lahat ng dapat maibigay ng gobyerno sa tao, kailangang makarating sa tao.”

On governance:

I can only bind the Executive Department which is under me.  I want  the Executive to observe a policy of full public disclosure and transparency. (When he announced that an executive order on the FOI will be in force shortly.)

Call for unity:

“The ride will be rough but come and join me just the same.”

To those who question his un-orthodox law enforcement style:

“I know what is legal and what is not.”

“You mind your work and I will mind mine.”

To the bureaucracy: 

“Do them ( meaning cutting corruption and red tape)  and we will work together. Do not do them, and we will part soooner rather than later.”

To law enforcers:

“Huwag lang kayong magsinungaling. Huwag lang kayong mag-imbento ng istorya. Just tell me the truth and I will protect you.”

“I will be harsh… not cruel… but I will be harsh.”

To Leni Robredo (by phone) when he offered her the position of HUDCC Chair:

“Puede ka sa Housing,  Ma’am?.....Tanggapin mo, Ma’am?”

Duter-Trivia:

- What do President Duterte and Vice President Robredo  (aka “DubRedo”) have in common?

1. Both are promdis.
2. Both are lawyers.
3. Both were reluctant candidates.
4. Both are legally single.
5. Although  they came from opposing politial camps, they mutually respect each other. President Rody  even deferentially calls her “Ma’am Leni”.

- The International Bromeliad Society (IBS) officially named the newest Neoregelia hybrid as ‘Neoregelia Rody Duterte,’ reported the Mindanao Times.

- via "Speaking Out" Facebook page

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Cellphone namatay

boy : babe , sorry late reply ah namatay kasi cp ko eh nagloloko na yata .
girl : eh ikaw di ba nagloloko ka na rin ? Bat di ka pa mamatay ?!

Meanings

We go to school, to attend "CLASS" .
C.L.A.S.S. = Come Late And Sleep Silently.

at home, we have to "STUDY".
S.T.U.D.Y. = Sleep, Tv, Unlimited-sms, Dota, Youtube.

in class, we're given "HOMEWORK."
H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K = Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge.

while doing homework, we refer to "TEXTBOOK".
TEXTBOOK = TEXTing + faceBOOK.