Thursday, August 4, 2016

#DutertePleaseAppointMe: Funny Tweets

Sikat at trending ngayon ang #DutertePleaseAppointMe (Duterte please appoint me) hashtag sa twitter at iba pang social media. Nag umpisa ito ng naibalita na si Mocha Uson ay gagawing Social Media Consultant ng Customs, dahil sa mga nakaraang mga buwan nabigyan din ng pwesto si Arnel Ignacio at Freddie Aguilar ng posisyon sa gobyerno. Na kumpirma na hindi totoo na binigyan si Mocha Uson ng Mocha girls ng posisyon, pero hindi pa din natigil ang trend na ito dahil may halong hugot at nakakatawa din. Ito ang mga collection ng nakakatuwang tweets ng mga kababayan natin sa twitter, may mga hugot din ang iba:

Gary V para sa Department of Energy

Sumusugal po ako sa pag-ibig, pwede naba ako sa PAGCOR?

Sanay naman akong mapaglaruan eh, pwede naba sako sa PAGCOR?

Umiinom po ako ng Enervon araw-araw. Ako nalang po sa Department of Energy

I've learned to guard my heart from all the stupidos who hurt me. Department of Defense, can I?

Magaling ako sa Clash of Clans. Baka pwede ako sa Department of Defense?

Alam ko paano magmahal ng sapat, at kung kailan ibigay ang lahat mai-salba ang relasyon. Department of Budget will do.

Palagi po akong humahabol sa kanya. Pwede na po ba ako maging secretary ng Department of Transportation?

Sinusportahan ko siya pati pamilya nya. Lahat ng gusto nya ibinibigay ko, pwede na po ba ako sa DSWD?

Puro ako gala, di na natigil sa bahay. Pwede na ako sa Department of Tourism.

Magaling po ako maglaro ng SimCity, DPHW na this.

Level 36 na po ako sa FarmVille. Pwede na ako sa Department of Agriculture.

Madali nila akong napapa-asa, meron man o wala, consistent.. PAG-ASA then?

Mapagmahal akong tao, pwede naba ako sa PAG-IBIG?

Madami na pong sumuko sa akin, pwede na po ako sa PNP.

Magaling ako mag-imbestiga ng manloloko. Pwede na ako sa NBI.

Ipinaglaan ko yung taong di naman ako kayang ipaglaban. Feel ko pwede na ko sa Supreme Court.

Malakas po ang appeal ko sa mga tao. Pwede na ako sa Court of Appeal.

Pag na aapoint ako sa DepEd, magkakaroon ng subject about "moving on." Tapos ituturo yun sa mga heartbroken.

Mahilig ako sa pineapple juice pwede nyo po bang i-appoint ako sa DOLE.

MAHILIG AKONG KUMAIN PWEDE NA AKO SA NFA

Alma Moreno para sa Department of Energy, para laging bukas ang ilaw.

MARAMI AKONG NARARAMDAMAN
PWEDE NA KO SA DOH

Nahirapan po ako sa exam kanina. Pwede na ba ako sa PAGASA?

I nominate Janina San miguel to take over Pantawid Pamilyang Pilipino Program because my pamily, my pamily, homaygad

MAGALING AKONG KUMAUSAP NG AFAM, PALITAN KO NA SI YASAY SA DFA

More tweets:

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Simple but Deep Quotes to Share or Tweet

English quotes or lines worth sharing on social media sites like Twitter or Facebook. Grab them and express your feelings of love, happiness, sadness or whatever mood you're in!

Appreciate those who love you. Help those who need you. Forgive those who hurt you. Forget those who leave you.

To be happy, you can't be too concerned with others opinions.

Life isn't about having things to enjoy life. It's about enjoying life with the things you have.

Dear Mom and Dad, I just wanna thank you for everything, I can't live the life I'm living now without you, I love you.

With or without problems, talk to God.

Never be afraid to fight for what you believe in.

We have 3 types of friends in life: friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime.

That feeling of emptiness whenever I think of us.

Falling in love with someone who doesn't like us, hurts.

I miss you, but whatever.

Don't lie, don't cheat, and don't make promises you can't keep.

I miss laughing with you and having a great time with you.

People leave. Life goes on.

I left because you never asked me to stay.

Don't be afraid of any rejections. It's part of our life.

Dear Twitter, thank you for letting me express my feelings.

Collect friends. Trust only those who are real.

I wish I could rewind time.

The past is in the past, learn from it and move on.

I'll be fine, I will be.

They ignore you now, but they'll need you later.

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings.

Stay calm. Everything has its own right time.

Best friends have conversations impossible to understand by other people.

No girl wants a guy who flirts with everyone.

Even the best fall down sometimes.

I know you’re sorry, but I just don’t know if that’s good enough.

Those songs that express the feelings you can't say.

Honest and true friends. Not fake friends.

Sometimes all you need, is someone who can make you smile.

Small things sometimes means a lot.

People change and things go wrong. Just remember, life goes on.

Not talking to you, kills me.

Judging me won't make you perfect.

Good or bad, just smile. You have a lot to be thankful for.

Minsan namimiss mo, pero minsan mas gusto mong kalimutan na lang.

Don't be sad. Always smile.

Slow down. Enjoy simple pleasures in life.

Someday, you'll meet someone who is worthy of all your efforts.

I hate getting flashbacks from things I don't want to remember.

Best friends are those who share tears and laughs with you. Most importantly, you can always count on when you need help.

Be careful what you say. Girls remember everything.

You can hide it but you can never run from your feelings.

If God is within your heart, He is always within reach.

Hirap umasa, sobrang sakit.

Never apologize for being you.

Wise enough to forgive, and strong enough to move on.

Stop counting days, start building memories.

Everything has reasons.

God, thank you for this wonderful day. ☺

Let go of the negatives.

I need to stop being so emotional about everything.

Do what makes you happy, and be with who makes you smile.

Hold on to whatever keeps you happy.

Dimples are so damn attractive.

Sometimes, just a hug will do. No need for advice.

If you like me, it's okay to tell me. If you don't, stop acting like you do.

Live your life while you still can. Tomorrow is promised to nobody.

My best friends aren't perfect but they could make my life perfect.

The more weird you are, the more fun you are.

I need more sleep, I need more money, I need more happiness.

The best feeling in the world is knowing that you actually mean something to someone.

Fake friends believe in rumors, real friends believe in you.

People cry because no words can express their feelings.

It's sweet when a person makes such an effort to be with you.

I don't need the whole world to love me, I just need a few sincere and great people who can accept me.

The worst feeling ever is the thought that you missed your chance.

Sometimes crying or laughing are the only options left, and laughing feels the best.

The purpose of our lives is to be happy.

Stay loyal. Stay faithful. Stay true.

In the end we only regret the things we didn't do.

I don't care if I don't sound good. This is my favorite song. I'm just gonna sing it.

People always leave. Don't get too attached.

Don't fall for sweet words. Fall for sweet actions.

I miss the way we used to text each other every day, now it's like we're strangers.

Be loyal to a person but don't forget your friends.

Nobody deserves to be treated like an option.

Do what makes you happy.

We meet people for a specific reason. They're either a blessing or a lesson.

Enjoy your life, make your dreams come true.

They're going to judge you anyway, so whatever.

Stop trying so hard for people who'll never care.

I hate going out when my phone isn't fully charged.

God, you've blessed me more than I deserve.

Don't be anything you don't want to be.

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Not every "sorry" deserves an "it’s okay" in return.

The perfect boyfriend doesn't smoke, drink, cheat, and exist.

I dont judge. I just say what i feel.

Be happy in front of people who don't like you, it kills them.

You always make me smile.

Life is way better when you're laughing.

Earphones in. Volumes up. Ignore the world. Escape reality.

Tropa? It consists of the best people.

No one wants to be treated like an option.

I'm going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like it's all a dream, and pretend like it's not hurting me.

I hate it when I forget to press send, and I'm sitting there like an idiot waiting for a reply.

I miss how happy I used to be when I was a little kid.

I believe that someday I can look into your eyes na wala nang feelings sa'yo.

Stop worrying about what might hold you down, and pay attention to why you're standing up.

Someday, you'll meet someone who is worthy of all your efforts.

Hugging a pillow and imagining it's the person you love.

Smile. Even amazing people have struggles too.

My feelings. You will never ever understand that.

Make sure you know the whole story before you jump to conclusion.

Texting is fine, calling is okay. But being with you is the best.

The memories are priceless.

Why stress over something you can't change, just shake it off and enjoy life.

I have a hard time trusting people.

No more expectations.. Just gonna go with the flow, and whatever happens, happens.

I automatically smile when you message me.

I get jealous because I love you, and I don't want anyone else to have you.

Never give permanent feelings to a temporary person.

Try to see the good in everyone.

Admit it, at some point in time you've tried to see if you have superpowers.

Never judge someone, everyone has a story.

It's not wrong to give up and cry when you cannot take the pain. Remember even clouds cry when they cannot carry the rain.

Be with someone who won’t stay mad at you, who can’t stand not talking to you, and who’s afraid of losing you.

Don't get too attached. Never.

Don't cry for anyone who won't cry for you; and don't fight for anyone who won't fight for you.

As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.

WORST FEELING: Being compared. Being ignored. Being rejected.

No regrets. Just lessons learned.

Stay strong, be positive. We all struggle sometimes.

Dear Someone, I don't know why but I think I really am just starting to like you.

I'll be fine, I will be.

Telling someone how you feel is honestly the hardest shit ever.

Give yourself a break. Don't stress too much.

Sometimes music speaks what you feel inside.

Something I learned about people... If they do it once, they'll do it again.

Letting go means you're strong enough.

Sometimes crying or laughing are the only options left, and laughing feels the best.

I don't need a perfect person, I just need someone that can make me happy and complete my life perfectly.

Best friends make life so much better.

The nicest people always get treated like shit.

Dear God, no matter what is going on in my life I thank you for the privilege of being alive today.

Yes, I admit. I miss you.

Never give up! Great things take time.

I miss the way we used to text each other every day, now it's like we're strangers.

I need actions not words.

Remain strong when things fall apart.

What hurts you today, makes you stronger tomorrow.

Every girl has her bestfriend, boyfriend, and true love. But you're really lucky if they're all the same person.

Without trust, there is no relationship.

Happiness is a choice. Choose it.

Real friends know when you're sad even if you're smiling.

Don't let stupid things break your happiness.

Sometimes the only person you can trust is yourself.

You still make me smile. Even if you are the main reason why I'm sad.

She's hurt a lot more than you think.

If someone really wants to see you, they'll find a reason, they'll find a way, and they'll make the effort.

Real feelings dont change fast.

Music always puts me in a better mood.

I wish my phone came with unlimited battery life and strong internet connection.

People these days gain attention by losing respect.

Appreciate the little things I do for you.

True love isn't Romeo and Juliet who died together. It's Grandma and Grandpa who grew old together.

Don't lie, don't cheat, and don't make promises you can't keep.

A good relationship is definitely worth the wait.

In life, I grew up, I learned what's best for me, I let go of things, I lost things and I learned to be better.

If you don't like me then I'm cool with that, just don't pretend that you do.

Jealousy will kill you mentally.

When the memories hit you... that shit hurts.

Apology accepted, trust denied.

Maturity comes with experience, not age.

Enjoy your life without comparing it to others.

I know you’re sorry, but I just don’t know if that’s good enough.

Be strong and move on. It's time.

Hope but never expect. Look forward but never wait.

Stuck in between not caring at all, and caring too much.

I don't care how we met, I'm just happy we did.

I just wanna go on a road trip with good friends and have good times.

Don't listen or think about anything negative other people say about you. Just live your life and prove them wrong.

Respect people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them.

Be real with me, or just leave me alone.

I wanna see new places and meet new faces.

Grades are just numbers.

All I need is someone who won’t give up on me.

I'm a teenager, my hobby is to stay up late every night.

It is never too late to make things right.

A jealous girl is a faithful girl.

Never give up on something you really want. It’s difficult to wait, but worse to regret. F

Honest and true friends. Not fake friends.

if I have a time machine, promise I'll fix my past.

Be strong when things fall apart.

So many judgmental people nowadays.

Know your worth. Know when you have had enough. And move on from the people who keep ruining your happiness.

Even though I don't know what tomorrow will bring, I am going to think positive and hope for the best.

I hate how everything I want costs money.

Dear music, thank you for making me feel happy when no one else could sincerely, loneliness.

Every time I'm in a bad mood, I just need someone who can make me laugh.

Learn to let go. Not everyone in your life is meant to stay.

Remember me? I used to be your world.

Do what makes you happy, and be with who makes you smile.

Dear God, I know I am not perfect but thank you for loving me anyway.

The scariest thing about distance is that you don't know whether they'll miss you or forget you.

That horrible moment when you can feel someone losing interest in you.

You never lose friends. You just discover who your real friends are.

Don't bother apologizing if you're just going to continue doing the things you said sorry for.

Never compare yourself to anyone.

I miss you and I just wanna see you right now.

I wish I could read people's minds.

Life was never meant to be easy.

Best revenge: smile, be happy and never let them know it hurts.

Life is incomplete without abnormal friends.

Things change, people change, but God remains.

Missing someone and not being able to see them is the worst feeling ever.

Don't fight for their attention. If they really care, you shouldn't have to.

A kiss on the forehead is one of the sweetest things in the world.

Being single is cool. No worrying about anyone, no obligations and best of all, no heartaches.

People make mistakes but it doesn't make them stupid.

Honestly, I'm glad I met everyone in my life. The good and the bad. The good make me thankful, the bad make me learn my lessons.

When the memories hit you... that shit hurts.

Life is incomplete without abnormal friends.

My worst fear is losing you.

Aircon o love life, pareho nalang. Pareho namang COLD yun.

Don't act as if you know everything.

Find someone worth your tears, worth your laughter, worth your heart, and that loves you as much as you love them.

Sometimes all you need, is someone who can make you smile.

Know your worth. Know when you have had enough. And move on from the people who keep ruining your happiness.

Yes, I'm smiling, but deep down I'm crying.

The memories are priceless.

That "gusto ko pero nahihiya ako" feeling.

Never cry for someone who hurts you, just smile and say thanks for giving me a chance to find someone better than you.

K' is the most annoying letter ever.

I hate when I forget to press send on my phone, then sit and wait there for a reply like an idiot.

God, thank you for this wonderful day. ☺

Opinions aren't facts. Stop worrying about what people think about you

Crying is not the solution but crying makes you feel better.

Dear God, thank you for being there when nobody else was.

A single text from you can change my mood at any moment.

Make no apologies for your personality.

People cry because no words can express their feelings.

Friendship is not about who you spend the most time with, it’s about who you have the best time with.

Wise enough to forgive, and strong enough to move on.

Don't let stupid things break your happiness.

Pain makes you stronger. Fear makes you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser.

Stop worrying about someone that isn't worried about you.

Never give up! Great things take time.

A broken heart is what changes people.

Music always helps, no matter what you're going through.

I won't start the conversation but I'm dying to talk to you so I'll just wait.

Don’t call it problems. Instead, call it challenges.

Haters will always hate no matter how good you are, so be yourself and do whatever you wanna do, life is so short, you only live once.

Bed in the morning > School.

I like reading but not my school books.

I hate how people don't really know you, but they judge you anyways.

Expectation is a crime. Disappointment is the punishment.

Music is my life, the lyrics are my story.

Too bored to do nothing. Too lazy to do anything.

Life is too short to be stressed.

Just keep calm and focus on the positive.

Just keep it real with me, I'll respect you way more.

Don't chase people. Be you, do your own thing and work hard. The right people who belong in your life will come Fto you, and stay.

Sometimes you can't explain what you feel for a person.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, no matter how right or wrong they are. Quit worrying about what others think.

Everybody wants a second chance, but not everybody deserves one.

Everything happens for a reason. Trust God.

Keep calm and carry on. Don't let people bring you down. Focus on those who love you, forget the ones who don't.

True love and loyal friends are two of the hardest things to find.

Sometimes, the little things mean the most.

I don't need rich friends. All I want are real one where I can laugh with, feel comfortable, hangout and have the same craziness.

Pretending to be happy when you're in pain is just an example of how strong you are as a person.

Life is way better when you're laughing.

Loyalty is everything.

Trying times are not the times to stop trying.

I'm so happy with the small circle of people I have in my life right now.

Bestfriends are still the best couple.

Earphones in. Volumes up. Ignore the world. Escape reality.

Twitter is like my diary, I express my feelings by tweeting.

Beauty attracts the eye but personality captures the heart.

If you still think about it, you still care about it.

Texting is fine, calling is okay. But being with you is the best.

That awkward moment when you're talking and you realize no one is listening.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just waiting to see if you'll put in the effort to talk to me.

You don't always get what you wish for, but you always get what you work for.

Life is all about acceptance. Seeing and hearing things you don't always want to, and just moving on.

Admit it, at some point in time you've tried to see if you have superpowers.

Don't give up on the things that make you smile.

One day, someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else.

People change easily. Deal with it.

Saying sorry doesn't solve the problem. It's what you do after that truly counts.

You can't force someone to stay in your life. Staying is a choice, so be thankful for the person that chooses you.

Some people come into your life as a blessing. Some come as a lesson.

I’m pretty sure if I didn’t always text you first we would never talk again.

Just do whatever makes you happy.

Falling in love is easy, staying in love is hard, letting go is harder and moving on is the hardest.

I’m just thankful for the people that never left me.

Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed.

I can't lie, I think I'm missing something and that's you.

The best relationships are the ones you didn't expect to be in; the ones you never saw coming.

The less people you have in your business, the less drama you will have in your life.

Move on from the people who keep ruining your happiness.

Standing alone is better than standing with people who constantly hurt you.

It's better when we get to sleep together

Be with someone who won’t stay mad at you, who can’t stand not talking to you, and who’s afraid of losing you.

Sometimes you have to walk away from what you want to find what you deserve.

Smile like nothing even happened.

You shouldn't have to change for anybody. If they don't accept you for who you are, find someone who will.

I'll pretend I'm okay.

The worst feeling is, not knowing whether you have to wait or give up.

You were born to make mistakes, not fake perfection.

Jealousy is normal in a relationship, it shows someone doesn't want to lose you.

I love people I can be crazy with.

Wag kang magmadali, God knows when the right time is.

You always make me smile.

Dear phone, without you my life is AWKWARD.

Unplanned moments are always better than the planned ones.

RT if you're missing someone.

The little things mean the most.

When I find a song that relates to my current situation, I listen to it over and over again.

Sometimes the best way to appreciate something is to be without it for a while.

I wish I could download money.

Even the best fall down sometimes.

My phone is always there when I need it the most, it is like my super true best friend in every situation.

Music sounds better when the song describes how you feel.

Music always puts me in a better mood.

The hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love, fall in love with someone else.

No matter how much I sleep, I am still always so tired.

Anyone can make you happy by doing something sweet but only someone special can make you happy without doing anything.

Of all the lies I've heard, "I love you" was my favorite.

Crying is not the solution but crying makes you feel better.

Keep fighting for what you believe in.

I hate how jealous I get over you.

Dear pillow, sorry for all the tears.

Stop worrying about what might hold you down, and pay attention to why you're standing up.

My attitude is based on how you treat me.

I'm sick of checking my phone and not seeing your name.

1000+ Hugot and English Quotes

Daily Pinoy Jokes have reached more than 1000+ combination of hugot (from English, Bisaya, to Tagalog) and Jokes as well. Thank you for helping this page prosper, more jokes and hugot lines or quotes coming in this month of August!

Here are additional collections of Hugot that you can share on the internet or any social media websites:

More English Quotes or Hugot: Sayings Library

Let them know what you're feeling by posting these quotes into your wall, both English and Tagalog (Filipino). This is for the heartbreaks, for the inspired and to those who have lost trust to somebody:.Advisable for those in a relationship or wants to be single (for a reason), tweet this on twitter or share it on Facebook:

Things won't get better until you make them better.

Loyalty is rare. If you find it, keep it.

The worst feeling: Not getting a reply back from someone you really want to talk to.

Know your worth. Know when you have had enough. And move on from the people who keep ruining your happiness.

It's impossible to find someone who never hurts you, so go for the one who's worth the pain.

No attachments, no heartaches.

Don't waste your time on someone who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

Hindi birong maghintay sa wala.

I'd rather be the sarcastic and harsh best friend, than be the fake and insecure friend.

God's never stop guiding us and protecting us.

I hate seeing you because you bring back the feelings I try so hard to forget.

Ang dami mong naiisip pero hindi mo masabi.

You never lose friends. You just discover who your real friends are.

Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Silence is the best answer to a stupid question.

In life, I grew up, I learned what's best for me, I let go of things, I lost things and I learned to be better.

I wish I can reverse time.

Let your dreams be bigger than your fears.

The worst feeling is, not knowing whether you have to wait or give up.

Be mature enough to accept rejections and failures.

Stuck in between not caring at all, and caring too much.

Everything is going to be alright, maybe not today, but eventually.

I want you to miss me, like I'm missing you.

I distance myself from people for a reason.

She is hurting, a lot more than you think.

I'm not afraid to try again, I'm just afraid of getting hurt for the same reason.

Not everyone will understand you.

Mabait akong tao, pero marunong din akong makiramdam pag umaabuso na kayo.

Do what makes you happy, and be with who makes you smile.

Let go of the negativity, focus on the good.

God always gives us unexpected blessings.

Yung alam mong di naman sya magtetext sayo pero nag-eexpect ka pa rin.

Kung ayaw masagot ng PABARA, huwag magtanong ng PATANGA.

Kunwari wrong send pero sinadya mo naman talaga.

I just want to have day off, of everything in my life, where I don't have to worry and think about everything.

You're the best thing that has ever happened to me.

A kiss on the forehead is one of the sweetest things in the world.

Yung akala mo masungit, yun pala napakabait.

Minsan kasi kahit tapos na, affected ka pa rin.

A relationship where you can act like complete idiots together is probably the best thing ever.

Don't let your past kill your future.

Judging others will not make you perfect.

I miss you and I just hate that feeling.

Yung kaibigan natin na hingi ng hingi ng advice pero di naman sinusunod.

A real friend has your back no matter what.

Dear phone, without you my life is AWKWARD.

Gusto kong sabihin sayong nasasaktan ako, kaso wala ka nga palang pake.

I found myself secretly stealing glances of you when you're not looking.

Just stay positive, it will get better.

Mas malaki si God sa kahit anong problema mo.

Simple "Hi" can make us smile but simple "bye" can make us cry.

The nicest people always get treated like shit.

Music always puts me in a better mood.

Stop holding on to people that have let go of you.

Yung tanggap mo na, pero ang sakit pa rin.

First you care. Then you get hurt.

Wala akong pakielam sa sasabihin nila, kasi mahal kita.

You may be able to find someone to replace that somebody, but you still won’t be able to replace all the memories

Yung tipong pag nagsama-sama kayo ng mga kaibigan mo, daig pa ang nag-aaway sa kanto sa sobrang ingay niyo.

Dear brain, I need to stop overthinking.

Can we start all over again? Do it right this time?

One old song. A thousand old memories.

Sometimes you get stuck between love or friendship.

I admit, I really miss how things used to be. But I can also admit, that I've accepted the fact that things have changed.

No expectations, no disappointments.

Ipakita mong kaya mong mabuhay na wala siya.

Fake smile on the outside, real pain on the inside.

Nung nakita ko yung mukha mo nagkaroon agad ako ng "trust issues"

Making mistakes does not mean you're a failure. It just means you're a human trying and learning in life.

A simple "I miss you" can change everything.

Real men stay dedicated to one girl.

Yung kapag wala siyang morning message, parang wala kana agad sa mood.

Pain makes you stronger. Fear makes you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser.

Fake promises? I hate that shit.

Good relationships dont just happen. It takes time, patience and two people who truly wanna be together.

Minsan isang tao lang ang kailangan mo para gumanda ang mood mo.

Rejection is the reason why people deny what they really feel.

Always know the difference between what you're getting and what you deserve.

Just one text from you can make my entire day better.

You were born to make mistakes, not fake perfection.

You shouldn't have to change for anybody. If they don't accept you for who you are, find someone who will.

Enjoy your teenage years. It's not always bad to break the rules.

Nakakamiss yung pakiramdam na importante ka sa isang tao.

Hard times reveals true friends.

Surround yourself with good people, and good things will happen.

Eating is probably my favorite sport.

They say time heals all, but without you by my side, time stands still.

I'm going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like it's all a dream, and pretend like it's not hurting me.

Physically, mentally, emotionally tired.

Saying sorry without sincerity is bullshit.

Sometimes you just cant tell someone how you feel, you can never really find the right words to make them understand.

True love isn't Romeo and Juliet who died together. It's Grandma and Grandpa who grew old together.

One day, you'll realize how much I cared.

I hate when you're so excited for something but then it ends up not happening.

You just have to do your own thing, no matter what anyone says. It's your life, your rules, be the best person you wanna be.

I spend too much money on food.

Sometimes, it's not the person you miss. It's the feelings and moments you had when you were with them.

I may not be the smartest, or nicest person in the world, but I can say that I am proud of who I am.

The best things happen unexpectedly.

Happy memories are just so hard to forget.

Respect, don't judge. Listen more, talk less. Understand, don't assume. Forgive and forget.

Don't compare me to other people, I'm not like them, I'm ME.

Happy outside, broken inside.

The memories are priceless.

Be thankful for everybody in your life, good and bad, past and present. They all made you the person that you are today.

A broken heart is what changes people.

Do not be too confident that he loves you. As forces of wine he could speak to you, he may also vomit.

In a relationship, no matter how carefully you hold the one.. Yet you have lost it.. Because he had released the hold earlier.

How can you love someone else. If you’re returning to the past.

Laugh hard if you are not really happy, even if you smile, we still have to be hard on the eyes to feel the loneliness.

Do you want to look for the qualities of former dear, that you want to cherish. Nobody and nothing can have such love story closely and similarly… Others may experienced in the present!

In love, do not insist on things because that can not be done.

Someone quickly fall in love and suddenly left, and you forget about it and then you are still the same.

Who was the cause of the complaints … We bet you, she is also the cause of severe crying.

I’m the type of person to grumble but I also have to smile at the person who wishes to us.

If you want to be part of my life, make sure that you are ready to accept not only the good parts but also my stupid side.

Do not go stupid on who you have ignored.

Yet I fight for what I love you if I just feel it.

Do not believe what you just said ‘baby’. You may not be aware of the triplets as well!

Never make permanent decisions on temporary feelings.

You can lose weight by running away from your feelings.


You would have wasted the past. But here you are today. Ignoring the present. What else would you deal with the future if only just uttering the word ‘waste’.

Why are we asked a question whether the proposition will move on? You know you did not receive answers to yourself that you end up.

I could not handle taking the word ‘just simply’, as long as you do not treat me like a ‘NOTHING’.

Do you train someone even if you are guilty, then he shall humble because there are two things to be abusing the kindness you or your stupidity.

Think First! If you do get hurt, Because the ‘SORRY’ claim only sin, but not correct the ERROR.

The women, they like my sense of belongingness. They’d known they were family, and among your friends.

Do you really love people too, if only that was fashionable to leave.

If you are asked whether you love chocolates or flowers… Be practical! Rise.!!! Men Rise!

The love seems cold, why do you keep pulling it back when its better to let go.

Its okay to have a friend they naturally belong to the multitudinous friends but I know you just may need me.

Not all friend, advised. Others, you have to fight for conscious.

Were previously just said, I love you to feel that. Now, I love you, just like thank you.

Those women who are not acting little bit just as we are. Ha ha!

True love is like a faithful Students exam. Even struggling, still not looking at others.

If you’re looking for respect, you must first respect yourself.

If you loved me true and ethical. I had not lost peace and mercy.

Professed quotes but will have to aim deep inside.

Making mistakes is better than faking perfections.

You were born with the ability to change a person’s life – never waste it.

Do not force yourself to those who do not like you.

When you tickle yourself, you’re not laughing. But when other do you, you laugh. Do we really need another for fun?

If you want to be part of my life, Make sure you are ready to accept not only the good parts but also my stupid side.

You do not need to put a band-aid to the bleeding wound more… Love is also like that… Do not find the loopholes, if you know you love him …

You are lucky that there is no gap to be a mother, There was another happy child ? Because they hear their mothers.

Stay true to yourself, because there are very few people who will always be with you real.

Some people do not want their lives to interfere. But they’re the number one meddles in the lives of others.

Even to many people in the world, if you really loved her, you may not love others. Sometimes it just depends on how flirty you are.

Not all sweet is loyal to you. Remember, sweet as candy, but wrapped in plastic.

Not to us or those who “Learned to be a fool, Prepare yourself.” Because today “The stupid learns from fool again later”.

If you do, you’re really the advice of a friend who fed up with the stupidity.

Sometimes these men give up sweet like load. Unlimited! To turn all networks.

Stick to one guy. It’s not 3 in 1.

If you love someone, do not be stupid! Don’t let others seize him. Because you find that fun with others, you might regret .. And you say, ‘You must love me if I Tanga’

I think i’ll be bad because people who revile them. I had no choice but to laugh with stupid believe.

Not because of the distance between you and each other to not give up when you start. If you love, can do each other all the way.

Those men were not tired of you never understand. Even so moody yet.

No one busy for the people he loved, unless ‘less he loved my reason for being busy it!’

We will make up one’s face. But the habit free to adorn that have not yet done.

There are things really fun in the beginning. Try to withstand the pain.

I still hope that touches you and resumes his mind – he felt.

You do not need to be wise to just say that you love someone with my love of others.

If you want to be part of my life, make sure you are ready to accept not only the good side but also my stupid side.

Do not fool the person who is very loved. The more we know that the person who loved too much, but sought out more.

We were given the opportunity to be stupid but not to be hired for free in a day.

Hopefully people like cellphone die spontaneously, when faulty.

Sweat are like tears, not just from the eye… But it provide assistance to tired! right?

More English Quotes: Simple but Deep English Quotes to Share or Tweet

Saturday, July 16, 2016

Hugot o Jokes ni Bassilyo

Ito ang mga nakakatuwang joke, patama o nakaka-relate na hugot ni Bassilyo. May english at Tagalog version. Hindi lang mga joke ang meron dito kung di hugot para sa mga sawi sa buhay at pag-ibig. May mga nakaka-insultong patama lines din dito.

Dear Crush,

Kahit hindi tayo umabot sa edad na 70 basta makapag 69 tayo. Masaya na ako.

* * *

Kung boobs lang ang habol mo sa mga babae. Dun ka nalang sa alaga mong baboy ng kapitbahay nyo. Walo dede nun magsawa ka!

* * *

Tatlong (3) pinakamasakit na bagay

1. Itago ang tunay na nararamdaman.

2. Mahalin ang taong may mahal ng iba.

3. Magmahal muli.

* * *

Marriage is like a walk in the park.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Jurrasic Park.

* * *

You know why alcohol is better than milk?
Panget kasi pakinggan yung, "Tara pare dede na tayo"

* * *

Lahat tayo ay may karapatang magsalita. Pero wala rin tayong karapatan manakit ng kapwa.

* * *

Kapag sinabihan ka ng insecure kahit wala naman dapat kainggitan. Itanong mo sa kanya kung saan banda, sa katawan mong laspag? O sa mukha mong basag?

* * *

Kapag panget ka matagal daw malowbat ang cp mo. Totoo ba?

* * *

Minsan kahit sabihing mong suko ka na. Kapag naalala mo kung paano ka niya napasaya. Bumalik ka ulit sa pagiging tanga!

Friday, July 15, 2016

Duterterism Lines

Dutertisms (2)

When a public  figure of lesser stature says it, it is merely an opinion. When President Rody says it, it is policy.  Here are more “Dutertisms” or  quotes from the President, lifted from his various speeches.

On the South China Sea question:

“ I want a soft landing for everybody.”

“God knows the last thing I want to do is to fight. If we can just sit down and talk, I would be very happy.”

On the peace process:

“Let us build a nation that is founded on peace and understanding.”

“We are a nation. We are all sisters and brothers by blood.”

“It is a useless war. Bakit tayo nagpapatayan? Magnegosyo na lang tayo lahat. Total ang Maranao dumating na doon sa Abra.” (in reference to the ubiquitous Maranao small businessmen selling their pirated DVDs.)

“We need to insure inclusivity in the peace process.” 

“What you give to the MI (LF), must be given to the MN(LF).”

“(Peace in Mindanao) ..will not come overnight…Certainly it will not come next year. Probably it will be something (like) two to three years from now. But I assure you, something will change before I end my term.”

On walking the talk:

“A promise is a promise. My word of honor is something I value very much…. Kung ano ang sinabi ko, yun na yun.”

On Corruption:

“Corruption must stop. Lahat ng dapat maibigay ng gobyerno sa tao, kailangang makarating sa tao.”

On governance:

I can only bind the Executive Department which is under me.  I want  the Executive to observe a policy of full public disclosure and transparency. (When he announced that an executive order on the FOI will be in force shortly.)

Call for unity:

“The ride will be rough but come and join me just the same.”

To those who question his un-orthodox law enforcement style:

“I know what is legal and what is not.”

“You mind your work and I will mind mine.”

To the bureaucracy: 

“Do them ( meaning cutting corruption and red tape)  and we will work together. Do not do them, and we will part soooner rather than later.”

To law enforcers:

“Huwag lang kayong magsinungaling. Huwag lang kayong mag-imbento ng istorya. Just tell me the truth and I will protect you.”

“I will be harsh… not cruel… but I will be harsh.”

To Leni Robredo (by phone) when he offered her the position of HUDCC Chair:

“Puede ka sa Housing,  Ma’am?.....Tanggapin mo, Ma’am?”

Duter-Trivia:

- What do President Duterte and Vice President Robredo  (aka “DubRedo”) have in common?

1. Both are promdis.
2. Both are lawyers.
3. Both were reluctant candidates.
4. Both are legally single.
5. Although  they came from opposing politial camps, they mutually respect each other. President Rody  even deferentially calls her “Ma’am Leni”.

- The International Bromeliad Society (IBS) officially named the newest Neoregelia hybrid as ‘Neoregelia Rody Duterte,’ reported the Mindanao Times.

- via "Speaking Out" Facebook page

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Cellphone namatay

boy : babe , sorry late reply ah namatay kasi cp ko eh nagloloko na yata .
girl : eh ikaw di ba nagloloko ka na rin ? Bat di ka pa mamatay ?!

Meanings

We go to school, to attend "CLASS" .
C.L.A.S.S. = Come Late And Sleep Silently.

at home, we have to "STUDY".
S.T.U.D.Y. = Sleep, Tv, Unlimited-sms, Dota, Youtube.

in class, we're given "HOMEWORK."
H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K = Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge.

while doing homework, we refer to "TEXTBOOK".
TEXTBOOK = TEXTing + faceBOOK.

Mag-apply ng sundalo

Boy: Sir apply akong sundalo!!
Officer: hindi puwede!! ang dami mong sirang ngipin bungi bungi ka pa
Boy: bakit sir? ang giyera ba ngayon? kagatan na?

Love story daw

love story ng pokpok at adik.
ADIK: Love, pakasal na tayo!!!!
POKPOK: ok lang ba sa yo??? May nakaraan ako eh!!!!
ADIK: ok lang honey, wala naman akong kinabukasan eh!!!

Trip-trip lang

Killer: Father mangungumpisal po ako…Father: ano ba kasalanan mo???
Killer: pumatay po ako ng 20 katao…
Father: Bakit??
Killer: kasi po naniniwala sila sa Diyos… kayo po ba naniniwala??
Father: Dati, pero ngayon trip-trip lang

Agapito

Teacher: what’s your name?

Pupil: early seven strikeland po!

Teacher: niloloko mo ba ko?

Pupil: hindi po, yan ang name ko sa inglis! Sa pilipino po, Agapito Hampaslupa.

Juan sa NBI

Inimbitahan ng isang imbestigador sa opisina ng NBI si Juan na walang trabaho pero buhay milyonaryo. Dumating si Juan kasama ang kanyang abogado sa NBI.

Imbestigador: Juan, pinatawag ka namin dito dahil naghihinala kaming isa kang drug trafficker at lider ng isang sindikato dahil nakapagtatakang namumuhay kang milyonaryo gayong ikaw ay walang tinapos at walang trabaho. Gusto naming malaman kung paano ka kumikita ng milyong milyong pera.

Juan: Sir, sa legal pong paraan kong kinikita ang aking mga pera. Sa pamamagitan po ng pustahan ako po ay kumikita ng daang daang libong piso. Kung gusto nyo po patutunayan ko sa inyo. Dodoblehen ko po ang sampung libo ninyo kung makakagat ko ang aking kanang mata.

Imbestigador: Imposibleng makagat mo ang yong mata. Sige, call ako dyan.

Dinukot ni Juan ang kanyang pekeng mata sa kanan at kinagat. Nagulat naman ang imbestigador sa ginawa ni Juan.

Juan: Sir, dodoblehen ko po ang singkwenta mil ninyo kung pupusta kayong kaya kong kagatin ang aking kaliwang mata.

Imbestigador: Yan ang talagang imposible. Paano ka makakakita kung parehong peke ang dalawa mong mata. Call ako dyan!

Kinuha ni Juan ang kanyang pustiso at kinagat ang kaliwang mata. Mangingiyak ngiyak ang imbestigador sa ginawa ni Juan.

Juan: (Pumunta sa dulo ng dalawang metrong mesa ng imbestigador) Sir, dodoblehen ko po ang ang sandaang libo ninyo kung pupusta kayo na kaya kong umihi sa basurahan nyo na nasa kabilang dulo ng mesang ito mula rito sa kinatatayuan ko. Patutunayan ko sa inyo na di mababasa ng kahit isang patak ang mesa nyo.

Imbestigador: Pinatatawa mo ako, Juan. Iyan ang talagang imposible. Sigurado akong di ka na mananalo sa pustang yan. Kaya, call ako!

Umihi si Juan at dahil sa imposibleng abutin ng ihi niya ang basurahan sa kabilang dulo ng dalawang metrong mesa ay sinadya na lang nyang ihian ang mesa ng imbestigador. Napahalakhak ang imbestigador sa tuwa. Ngunit, tawa rin ng tawa si Juan.

Imbestigador: Eh bakit tawa ka pa nang tawa, eh talo ka na nga ng sandaang libo?

Juan: Sir, natutuwa po ako dahil nanalo po ako ng limang daang libong piso sa pustahan namin ng abogadong kasama ko. Nagpustahan po kami na ako ang mananalo kung kayo ay matutuwa kapag inihian ko ang mesa ninyo.

Abogado: Waaaahhhhh!

Tawag sa boobs na maliit

Ano ang tawag sa boobs na maliit?

ABOT-KAMAY

Ano naman ang tawg sa boobs na malaki?

KAPOS-PALAD

Eh, sa flat-chested?

SAWING-PALAD

Mas magaling

Bugaw: Sir, Chicks P1,500, estudiante!

Man: Ganun ba? Hanapan mo ako ng mga P1,000 lang pero mas magaling pa sa estudiante.

Bugaw: Yung PRINCIPAL, sir!

Anong gusto paglaki

A: anong gusto mong maging paglaki mo?...
B: cellphone...
A: bakit?!...
B: para maging importante din ako syo... lagi mong hawak... laging pinapansin... at kung mawala o manakaw, alam kung malulungkot ka...

Namatay ang GF

Girl: Namatay daw gf mo?
Boy: Oo eh.
Girl: Condolence ha?
Boy: Salamat. Masakit man pero kailangan kong tanggapin na wala na sya.
Girl: Puwede ako na lang pumalit sa kanya?
Boy: Ewan ko... Baka hindi pumayag yung funeral... Buhay ka eh..

Sundoan

BF: Sunduin kita mamaya ha,
Bubusina nalang ako kapag nasa harap na ako ng bahay nyo.
GF: OK sige,anong dala mong sasakyan?
BF: Wala....busina lang hehehe.

Magtotroso

May isang aplikante ang nag apply bilang isang Magtrotroso.

Aplikante: Sir, Gusto ko po sanang mag-apply bilang isang Magtrotroso.

Employer: Sa Payat mong yang kaya mo bang pumutol ng puno? ahh ok cge, nakikita mo yang punong yan? bibigyan kita ng isang oras para maputol mo yan. pag nagawa mo un, tanggap ka na.

Aplikante: OK Sir!

Nagtungo ang Aplikante sa punong puputulin nya. kung titingnan ang punong ito ay mahigit sa 100 taon. Makaraan ang 15 minuto, bumalik sa Employer ang aplikante.

Aplikante: Sir, Tapos na po, nakatumba na po yung puno.

Employer: (Gulat) Aba! Ambilis mo grabe! Teka san ka ba nagputol ng puno dati?

Aplikante: Ahh Sir, Alam nyo po ba ung SAHARA FOREST?

Employer: SAHARA FOREST? Ang alam ko lang SAHARA DESERT.

Aplikante: EHH YUN NA ATA TAWAG NILA NGAYON.

Breakfast after honeymoon

lola: alam mo hon, kahit 50 years na tayong kasal, nag-iinit pa rin ang dibdib ko sa iyo
lolo: anak ng pating….paanong hindi mag-iinit dibdib mo…eh nakasawsaw yang dede mo sa kape……

Palakihan ng Bahay

Isang umaga sa labas ng bahay ng kanilang mga amo nag-uusap ang mga katulong tungkol sa kanilang mga ninuno…

inday1: Alam mo ba na mayaman ang ninuno ko at sa sobrang yaman nila ang laki rin ng bahay nila biruin mo pupunta lang sila ng banyo kailangan pa nilang sumakay ng dyip..kaso lang naghirap sila at naibenta ang bahay..

inday2:Hay naku mayaman na ba yun??yung ninuno ko kaya sa sobrang laki ng bahay pupunta ka lang ng sala kailangan mo pang sumakay ng Bus at bumiyahe ng 1 oras. gANUN kalaki bahay ng mga ninunoko..kaso lang nalulong sa sugal kaya naghirap kami..

Si Dong nakikinig lang sa usapan ng dalawang katulong maya-maya dina nakatiis sumabad narin sa usapan.

dong: alam niyo mas mahirap pa sa daga mga ninuno nyo eh!!!!

inday1 &  inday 2: aba paano mo naman nasabi yun eh malalaki ang bahay ng ninuno namin…

dong: Yung ninuno namin sa sobrang laki ng bahay pagpasok nila dun dina sila nakalabas..

inday1: ganun naman pala eh dina nakalabas eh bakit naging katulong ka ngayon nasan naba yung bahay ng ninuno mo..

dong: MUNTINLUPA NA NGAYON….

Biglang Nawala

TIBO : Ang saklap talaga ng buhay...nasa akin ang lahat na banggitin mo-- pera, malaking bahay, mamahaling kotse, magandang babae na nagmamahal sa iyo...tapos...
POOF...biglang nawala lahat!
IGME : Bakit pare, anong nangyari?
TIBO : Aaaaahhh...Nalaman ng asawa ko

Highblood

Si Don Pedro nag pacheckup sa doctor kasi highblood sia. Sinabi ng Doctor na wag na siyang kakain ng matataba tulad ng baboy at balat ng manok. Dapat kumain na lang sia ng mga lumalangoy tulad ng isda. Pagkatapos ng isang buwan bumisita ang Doctor kay Don Pedro.

Tinanong ng Doctor yung katulong kung saan si Don Pedro. Sinabi ng katulong na nasa swimming pool si Don Pedro. Sabi ng Doctor: “ah nag eehersisyo sa paglangoy si Don Pedro”. Katulong: “D po, tinuturuan yung baboy na lumangoy”.

Ibang Posisyon

Husband: Shall we try a different position tonight?
Wife: That's a good idea dear?.doon ka sa may plantsahan at ako naman
ang uupo sa sofa at manoood ng tv.

Papansin

Secretary: Haayyyy! Gwapo talaga ni Sir! Pano kaya gagawin ko para mapansin beauty ko? Alam ko na! Ilalagay ko panty ko sa ibabaw ng mesa nya.
Hinubad at ipinatong sa mesa. Dumating ang gwapong Sir.

Sir: Kaninong panty ito?
Secretary (pinapungay ang mata at pinalamyos ang boses): Akin Sir, bakit Sir?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Sir: Me tae!

Ahas

Mag-amang ahas naguusap
Anak : sssssssh Tay, anong lahi po ang mga katulad natin?
Tatay: Lahi tayo nang makamandag na ahas anak ssssssshhhh. At bakit mo naman naitanong ssssshhh?
Anak: ssssahhh Nakagat ko po kasi ang dila ko Tay sssshhhh

Diamond

Pedro: Pare, nag away kami ng girlfriend ko. 
Juan: Bakit naman?
Pedro: Humingi ng regalo kahit ano daw basta may diamond.
Juan: Ayun naman pala eh anong niregalo mo? 
Pedro: Baraha

Ano ang masarap sa hayop

Anak: Mommy, ano ang masarap na hayop?
Mommy: Baka, manok, baboy, kalabaw, usa, kabayo…
Anak: Si Inday ba, hayop din?
Mommy: Bakit mo naitanong?

.

.

.
Anak: Kasi, sabi ni Daddy, ‘Hayop ka, Inday, ang sarap mo!

Away for a trip

Lester went off on a country trip, but had gone only three blocks before he realized that he had left his call cards on the coffee table. He went back home and quietly went into the house. His wife was at the sink in a filmy negligee. She was so inviting that he sneaked up behind her and put his hand on her breast. Without turning round she said:

"Just one litre will do today, thanks. Lester's away on a trip for the rest of the week."

Katawan Lang

Isang magasawa ang dumulog sa korte para magpaannul.
Judge: Ano ang dahilan para kayo magpaannul?
Babae : ( Nagsalita habang nakayuko ) Your honor, katawan lang ang gusto niya sa akin.
Judge : Anong pruyba mo?
Babae : ( Nakayuko pa rin ) Tuwing nag love making kami tinatakpan niya ng towel ang mukha ko.
Judge : Ikaw Mister bakit mo ginawa yun?
Mister : No comment your Honor. Just see for yourself.
Misis: (Nagalit at ihinarap ang mukha sa Judge ) See bastos talaga ang taong yan.
Judge : (Habang nakatingin kay Misis. ) Annulment petition granted. Ikaw naman lalaki, bakit ngayon ka lang nagfile ng annulment? Ang tiyaga mo.

Thermometer

SEXY: Doc mainit puet ko,
DR: Lagyan natin ng thermometer.
SEXY: Hiya ako Doc..
DR: Off ko ilaw.
SEXY: Doc di yan puet ahh!
DR: Sige lang, di rin ito thermomter.

Magulong Buhay

Jose: Haay naku, napakagulo talaga ng buhay.
Juan: Bakit, may mags gugulo at complikado pa ba sa buhay ko? Ang napangasawa kong biyuda may anak na dalaga, na napangasawa naman ng tatay ko. Di ba lumabas na nanay ko siya at ang tatay ko naman ay anak ko? Ang asawa ko naman ay biyenan ni tatay. Nung magkaanak sila, ako ang lolo nang kapatid ko. Nung magkaanak kami ng biyuda kong asawa, mga apo at kapatid sila ng tatay ko. Papaano kapag nagkaanak kami ng asawa kong biyuda? Ano sila ng tatay ko? Di ba mas magulo yun?

Teacher vs Naughty Student!

Collection or lists of naughty jokes for teachers or students, these are Filipino jokes translated into English! These are naughty questions by teachers and students answer as if they're innocent. If you're below 18 years old, get out!

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students the
teacher asked,"Boy. what is your problem?"

Boy. answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade.My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!"

The Teacher had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While
the boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he
would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.


Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Boy.: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Boy.: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think
Boy can go to the third-grade." the teacher says to the principal, "I
have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy. both agree.
the teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two
of?

Boy., after a moment "Legs."

Teacher : "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Boy.: "Pockets."

Teacher : What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy.: Coconut

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The
principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Boy. was taking charge.

Boy.: Bubblegum

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a
dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before
he could stop the answer...

Boy.: Shake hands

Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?

Boy.: Yep.

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.

Boy.: Tent

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first.The Principal was looking restless, a bit
tense.

Boy.: Wedding Ring

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good.

Boy.: Nose

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Boy.: Arrow

Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of
heat and excitement?

Boy.: Firetruck

Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if you dont get
it u have to use ur hand.

Boy.: Fork

Teacher: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men
than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife
after they're married?

Boy.: SURNAME

Teacher: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of
veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

Boy.: HEART.

Sweet Hugot sa mga in-love!

Ito ang collection ng mga sikat na sweet hugot lines o sweet quotes para sa mga in-love, in a relationship or sa mga feeling in-love!

Ang tunay na nagmahahal kahit bad mode pa
di ka kaya sungitan, kapag nag ILOVE YOU and I MISS YOU ka
sa kanya

---
So feeling mo Iiwan kita? Asa ka pa

---
Importante ba ang word na I LOVE YOU. Para sakin kasi
mas importante ka, paano ko masabi ang word na
I LOVE YOU kung wala ka.

---
3 BAGAY lang sa buhay masaya na ako,
Una- Buhay ko, Pangalawa - Pamilya ko,
Pangatlo - Pera

Uyy tampos sya, nakalimutan mo na ba
IKAW ang una.

---
Alam mo ba ang salitang pagmahal?
di ko yan pinag aralan pero sayo ko natutunan

---
Limitado lang sa mundo ang mga taong faithful
or stick to one, kaya dapat hindi sila sinasayang,
NO! hindi pala dapat kami sinasayang

---
Ikaw lang ang pangarap ko na makasama ka
habang buhay

---
Alam mo ba dalawang bese lang kitang
mamahalin, now and forever

---
You are my one in 6 billion.

---
Ok lng na mahilo ako, basta gusto ko sayo lang
ang mundo ko

---
Taxi ka ba? kasi habang patagal na patagal
napapamahal ako sayo.

---
I promise I will love you forever.

Hugot Lines for Students!

Ito ang mga collection ng hugot lines para sa mga estudyante, mahirap mag-aral, kaya minsan dapat hugot din pag may time!

 Bakit ang Ballpen kahit iniingatan nawawala parin

---

Yong kaklase mo na naka Pajero Sports, tapos
pag dating ng test, mang hihingi ng papel.

---
Yong kaklase mo na crush na crush mo at
gusto mo laging may pasok para makita sya.


---
JS time na nag aabang ka na sana recess na.

---
Yong tipong ayaw mo nang mag P.E. kasi ayaw mong
pawisan.

---
Yong teacher mong maganda, tapos gusto mo
parati nalang na sya parati ang subject mo.

---
Yong teacher na putak ng putak sa loob ng
classroom, kakabagot sarap sapakin.

---
Yong mga kaklase mo naka PILOT pen ikaw
naka mumurang ballpen. Limang piso isa

---
Gusto mo nang umuwi, pero cleaners ka pala
sa school. Tae

---
Pasahan na ng project saka ka
pa mag madali, sobrang katangahan kasi.

---
Yong papasok ka sa school, tapos biglang
umulan, takbo...pero basa parin.

---
Yong pumasok ka tapos, absent mga tropa
mo, parang ang lungkot. ayaw ko na pumasok.

----
Yong magsusulat ka sa likod na part ng notebook
kakainis hindi flat yong papel

---
Yong kaklase mo sobrang talino, gets
agad ang lesson. Pota, anyare, ikaw ei nag lag pa
ang utak. hehehe

---
Yong kaklase mo na apoy putok, sus, di marunong
maglagay ng deodorant. Aw

----
Yong biglang may babayaran sa school, tapos
wala kang pambayad. Kasi wala pera.

---
Mga classmate mo naka touch screen na na phone
ikaw, naka old model pa.

---
Yong tipong ayaw mo nang matapos ang intrams day

---
Yong kaklase mong nakakainis, pero mabait.

---
May kaklase ka na nakasalamin, mukhang matalino
bobo naman pala. tae

Hugot para sa Suplado o Suplada!

Marami sa mga pinoy ay suplado o suplada, kaya banatan na natin ng mga hugot ang mga suplado o suplada para lalong masisira ang araw nila o baka naman matuwa pa sila sa mga hugot na ito, diba?

 Ang pagiging suplado binagabay sa mukha yan
wag suplado pag di gwapo. Epal!

---

Pa suplada pa ei pangit ka naman, wag ka nga.


---
Hindi naman talaga siya suplado/suplada, sadyang
hindi ka lang niya kilala.”

---
Minsan yong suplado/suplada over acting feeling lang!

---
May mga babae na kala mo suplada, pag nakilala mo na
di na pala.

----

Suplada/Suplado? Tanong mo muna sa sarili mo kung
close tayo. Hello!

---
May sasabihin sana ako,
kaya lang mukhang suplada.

---
Minsan ang mga taong suplada/Suplado sila pa
ang magaling magmahal

---
Sobrang suplada mo, pero ang libog mo

---
Bago mo sabihing suplada at nagmamanda ako
siguraduhin mong kilala mo ako

---
Torpe lang naman hindi suplada, kasi di lang lalaki
ang na totorpe, kami ding mga babae

---
Salamat facebook nalaman kong
suplado ako.

---
Kung hindi ka lang sana suplada
matagal na kitang niligawan.

Hugot ni Manong

Hugot lines para kay Manong na KJ pag may nakatabi kang gwapo o maganda sa jeep.
 
 Hangga’t may mga “MANONG” na nabubuhay, mahihirapan

kang makatabi si cutie sa sasakyan. #MalakingHadlang


---
MANONG- Mga panget na mama na gagawin ang lahat
para makatabi ang magagandang babae sa sasakyan at
mailayo ang karibal na pogi.

---
Manong Sobrang taba mo, pwede ba bumaba ka nalang

---
Panalangin kay Manong " Sana sa susunod na kanto bababa na sya"

---
Alam nyo ba na ang mga manong na matataba, ay maiitim
ang leeg.

---
Wag nyo namang sabihin na ang lahat ng manong
ay spoiler sa buhay, Minsan sila din ang nakakatulong

---
Mukha kang manong

Saan ang Baba?

 Ito ang mga nakakatuwang sagot o answer pag tinatanong ka ni Manong Jeepney driver na, "Saan ang Baba?"

1. “To infinity and beyond!”

2. “Sa pinakamalapit na McDo. Kakain ng burger tapos magmomove-on.”

3.  “Kahit saan manong tutal wala namang patutunguhan ang buhay ko.”

4. “Kasasakay ko lang pabababain niyo na agad ako? Pasasakayin tapos sa huli iiwanan din? Pare-pareho kayong lahat. PARAAAAAAA!!!! ”

5. “”Kapag sinagot ko po ba yan, libre na pamasahe ko?”

6. “Ah jan lang ho sa bertdeyan ng pinsan ko may konting inuman.”

7. “Bakit niyo tinatanong? Getting-to-know each other ito ‘no? Tapos ano, magkakadevelopan, magiging tayo tapos sa huli bubuntisin mo lang? Tapos mag-isa kong palalakihin ang mga supling natin? Gago ka pala eh! Hinde. Ayoko!”

8. “Dun po sa lugar na walang mga panget.” *looking to all the pasaheros*

9. “13° 47’ 0" North, 121° 2’ 0" East to be exact.

10. “Diyan lang po sa may boundary… ng friendzone.”

11. “Depende po kung saan bababa itong cute na kaharap ko.” *sabay buka ng legs*

12. “Dun po sa Hopeless Place ni Mareng Rihanna so I can find love din.”

13. “Thank you for that wonderful question Manong. But i do believe that we find love right where we are so bababa na po ako ngayon. That would be all. Thank you.”

14. “Purok 7. Block 5. Kalye Pinaasa. Barangay Sinaktan Walang Forever. Magbbreak din kayong Lahat!!!”


Tapos kapag inabot na ni Manong ang sukli, sabay sigaw.

15. CHANGE IS COMING!!!!

Walang Kwentang sagot lines!

 Ito ang mga walang kwentang sagot sa mga kadalasang tanong ng mga tao. Pilosopo kasi tayo, masanay na sana sila diba? Ito ang mga lista o collection of worthless answers to a valid but obvious questions! English yan ha.

 1. Saan ka pumupunta pag hindi ka umaalis?
(Hindi nga umalis diba?)


2. Anong ginagawa mo pag wala kang ginagawa?
(Eh wala ngang ginagawa diba?)

3. Sinong kinakausap mo pag wala kang makausap?
(Siguro sarili ko, close kami eh)

4. Ilan kayong pupunta kung wala kang kasama?
(Malamang ako lang)

5. Kung rereypin ka ng crush mo, payag ka?
(May choice pa ba ako, e rape nga yun!)

6. Nagso-softdrinks ka ba pag coffee break?
(Bakit, bawal?!)

7. Ang hirap siguro bumili ng “Happy Meal” pag malungkot ka noh?
(Buset ka!)

8. Nanonood ka ba ng morning news sa umaga?
(Hindi, sa gabi!)

9. Paano pag wala kang bahay, saan mo gagawin homework mo?
(Try mo sa sanga ng malunggay!)

10. Bakit kaya ang init pag summer?
(Kasi hindi winter!)

Hugot ng Tanging Ina!

 Mga famous o sikat na hugot lines ng Ang Tanging Ina. Pwede na rin pang banat!

 - Hindi lahat ng kumikinang ay ginto.. muta lang yan.

- Kapag ang puno mabunga…mataba ang lupa!

- When it rains…it floods.

- Kung kaya ng iba, ipagawa mo sa kanila.

- Pagkahaba haba man ng prusisyon .. mauubusan din ng kandila.

-Ang buhay ay parang gulong, minsan nasa ibabaw minsan nasa….vulcanizing shop.

- Ang taong nagigipit…sa bumbay kumakapit.

- Pag may usok…may nag-iihaw.

- Ang taong naglalakad nang matulin… may utang.

- No guts, no glory… no ID, no entry.

- Birds of the same feather that prays together… stays together.

- Kapag may sinuksok at walang madukot, may nandukot.

- Ang buhay ay parang bato, it’s hard.

- Walang matigas na tinapay sa gutom na tao.

- Behind the clouds are the other clouds.

- Aanhin pa ang damo.. kung bato na ang uso!

- It’s better to cheat than to repeat!

- Ang batang masipag paglaki ay pagod.

- Do unto others… then run!!!

- Practice makes perfect, but then again no ones perfect so why practice?

- Pag di ukol, di bubukol…siya ay baog!

- Kapag puno na ang salop, kumuha na ng ibang salop.

- Magbiro ka na sa lasing, Magbiro ka na sa bagong gising, ‘wag lang sa lasing na bagong gising.

- When all else fails, follow instructions.

- No man is an island because time is gold.

- An apple a day.. is too expensive.

- An apple a day, makes seven apples a week.

- Ang babaeng hindi natumtumba ay dating kundoktora.

- An apple a day cannot be an orange a day.

- Batu-bato sa langit, ang tamaan… sapul.

- Try and try until you succeed… or else try another.

- Ako ang nagsaing… iba ang kumain. diet ako eh.

- Huwag magbilang ng manok kung alaga mo ay itik .

- Kapag maiksi na ang kumot, bumili ka na ng bago.

- Pag may tyaga.. goodluck.

- If you can’t beat them, shoot them.

- Birds of the same feather make a good feather duster.

- Kapag may taga, may tahi.

- Huli man daw at magaling, undertime pa rin.

- To err is human, to errs is humans.

- Ang naglalakad ng matulin, late na sa appointment

- Matalino man ang matsing, matsing pa rin.

- Better late than later.

- Aanhin ang palasyo kung ang nakatira ay kuwago, mabuti pa ang bahay kubo,sa paligid puno ng linga.

- Ang sakit ng kalingkingan, kailangan ng alaxan.

- Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika, lumaki sa ibang bansa.

- Kapag maikli ang kumot, tumangkad ka na!

- Better late than pregnant.

Hugot para sa mga tindera!

Mga Hugot lines ni boy hugot sa tindera. Dapat pagkatapos ay sabihan mo ang tindera na nag-jojoke ka lang. Stressful ang buhay kaya chill lang ate!

Ako: Pabili po ng electric fan
Tindera: Anong klaseng Electric fan?
Ako: Yong steady lang. Yong hindi lilingon sa iba!



Ako: Pabili po ng chichirya
Tindera: Anong chichirya
Ako: Yong walang "tear here" sa gilid
nakakapagod na kasing umiyak!

Ako: Pabili po ng pampers
Tindera: Ilan po?
Ako: Tatlo tatlo kasi kaming baby nya!


Girl: Kuya pabili po ng paputok
Tidero: Anong klaseng paputok?
Girl: Yong kahit maputukan ako kaya
akong panindigan

Ako: Kuya pabili po ng Kape
Tidero: Anong klaseng kape? 3 in 1?
Ako: Hindi poh! kailangan ko po yong stick to one!

Ako: Kuya pabili po ng sabong panglaba
Tindera: Surf o tide?
Ako: Surf poh! Gusto ko po wais mag mahal!

Girl: Kuya pabili po ng pain reliever
Tindero: Ilan miss?
Girl: Isa lang poh, ako lang ang nasaktan!

Banat o Hugot para sa Tsismosa!

Banat o Hugot quotes para sa mga tsismosa / chismosa!


Kung ako sayo, sariling buhay mo ang ipag-kalat mo,
wag buhay ng ibang tao.

Ang tao pinanganak na iisa at maikli ang dila,
ang tsimosa, pinganak na mahaba ang dila.

Kung magkalat ka ng baho ng kapwa mo, kala
mo ikaw walang tinatago! Kupal mo!

Hoy! Tsismosa, move on ka na!

Kasabihan para sa mga tsismosa

May tainga ang lupa, datapwat ang taong tsimosa ay
may pakpak ang dila.

Ang lata pag walang laman, maingay

Ang taong daming salita, walang mapalala.


Tsismosa in English with tagalog translation

You are what comes in your mouth

" Kung ano sinasabi mo ikaw yon"

Great minds talk about ideas
average minds talk about events, and
shallow mind talks about people

"Ang taong na matalino ay nagsasalita ng mga idea,
ang taong may katamtamang pag-iisip ay nag kukwento ng
mga bagay na nangyayari, subalit ang taong may mababaw
na pag-iisip ay nag kinukwento ang buhay ng kapwa tao

Banat ng mga tumataba!

Ito ay mga lista ng nakaka-asar na banat o hugot, dahil natural sa pinoy ang pilosopo, ito at e share namin sa inyo! Itong banat na ito ay nakaka-insulto kaya piliin mo ang tamang resbak. Hahaha!

Ito ang resbak kung may kakilala kang sinabihan ka ng "Oi, tumataba ka ata?" Ano ba ang tamang sagot?

Oi. Tumataba ka ata.
Opinyon mo lang yun.

***
Oi. Tumataba ka ata.
Pumapanget ka ata?

***
Oi. Tumataba ka ata.
Pero bakit ikaw best kung anu-ano sinusubo mo di ka tumataba?

***
Oi. Tumataba ka ata.
Tangina mo rin.

***
Oi. Tumataba ka ata.
Kinain ko na naman kasi pride ko bes.

***
Oi. Tumataba ka ata.
Ah talaga ba? Pinaghirapan ko yan.

***
Oi. Tumataba ka ata.
Tabil pa din ng bunganga mo no?

***
Oi. Tumataba ka ata.
Gusto mo kainin kita?

***
Oi. Tumataba ka ata.
Mayaman eh. Daming pambiling pagkain. Nangangayat ka ata?

***
Oi. Tumataba ka ata.
Kaya nga baliw na baliw pa rin sakin jowa mo eh.

***
Oi. Tumataba ka ata.
Mauuso din to bes. Nauna lang ako.

***
Oi. Tumataba ka ata.
Siguro kaya ka iniiwan ng taong mahal mo kasi pakialamera ka.

***
Oi. Tumataba ka ata.
Yung huling nagtanong niyan sakin sinampal ko.

Hindi madali ang tumaba, pinaghirapan din yan, isa ka sa nag papatunay na maunlad ang pilipinas dahil marami kang pambili.


Saturday, July 2, 2016

Bakit ka absent kahapon Juan?

Isang araw nagpaliban ng klase si juan dahil nanganak ang kanyang ina at.....
Pagkinabukasan..

Tinanong ng teacher si juan..

Teacher:Bakit ka absent kahapon.??

Juan:Sorry po ma'am nanganak po kasi ang nanay ko..

Teacher :In english..!!

Juan: sorry maam I was absent yesterday because my mother is born again...

Teacher :Ano dawww.???

Bisaya Hugot Lines Collection

Funny and Inspiring Bisaya hugot lines or quotes, a collection from the netizens who share their hugots through post or status on any social media like Facebook and Twitter due to heartbreaks and even in good times. Hugot which means to "drawn from a deep place" in English are mostly based on experiences of people on their daily life. Come and read bisaya hugot lines collection! Updated daily!

More bisaya hugot here (Updated for 2017 and 2018): https://sayingslibrary.com/lines/hugot-lines-bisaya/

Mao ni lista sa mga hugot (Updated: August 3, 2016):

Tulog na. Di na lagi siya mo balik, kay wala naman siya'y dapat balikan pa

Huy crush agusto na! Pero ngano di pa mn ko nimo gusto?

Magwork-out man gyud ang LDR kung naa mo'y Loyalty sa usa't-usa. Dili man malikayan nang mga temptasyon, kay mao lage, gimingaw mo sa partner ninyo. Pero dapat sad ninyo huna-hunaon kung unsa ilang bation kung mabal-an nila ang gipangbuhat ninyo. Patience ug Big Efforts lang ang kinanghanlan para mapadayon ninyo ang relasyon ninyo. Kung naghinigugmaay jud mo ug tinud-anay, dili angay mahimong rason ang distansya para maguba mong duha.

Di man unta tika type, ngano inlove mn kayko nimo.

Nganu sakit mabiyaan? Simple rana. Alang kay ga gunit paka pero siya ning buhi na. Pareho rana sa lastiko, kung kinsa'y una mubuhi safe na. Pero kung kinsa to'y nahabilin mao'y mapiktan ug masakitan.

Kanang taong sige kag sungugon, wala na lang ka kabalo isa ka adlaw na fall na diay kas iyaha.

Sa sobra ka paspas sa oras ug adlaw, mashock na lang ka na, sa lain na siya.

Mo abot gihapon ang adlaw nga ikaw napuy makafeel sa kasakit na imong gihatag sa akoa karun. Hulat hulat lang.

Kanang sabay mo sa una magimagine sa inyong mga pangarap para sa inyong future. Pero karun pangarap na lang nimo ug naginusara na lang ka.

Abi nimog kaya mapawala sa sorry ang sakit na imong gipafeel sa akoa?

Nakamove-on na ba jud ka? August 2 gihapon nimo siya?

Kung di ka gusto biyaan tika, ayaw'g buhat ug rason nga mo buhi ko ug kapoyon ko aning relasyon nga murag ako na lang, ako na lang ang giganahan ug ako na lang ang nahigugma.

Ayaw na lang seg gugma ug magbinuang raman sad diay ka!

UNSA BA TA?
Napangutana ba nimo na sa imong kaugalingon?
Kanang murag KAMO, nya dili diay.
Kanang sweet kaayo mo sa usa't-usa, pero wala lang diay. Sadnu?

Usahay dili ta magparamdam niya, para makahibalo pud ta kung mingawon pud ba kaha siya.

Naa gyuy usa ka Tao sa atong kinabuhi, bisag kapila nata gipasakitan.
Dili gyapon nato kaya biyaan.

Dili man lisod kalimtan ang Tao.
Ang lisod kalimtan, ang gibati nimo para ato.

One day, makita tika ug matutukan na tika sa mata nga wala nako'y feelings para's imoha.

Dali ra kaayong panahon noh? Kaniadto July pa karun August na. Sa una ikaw pa karun lahi na.

Crush unta makasabot ka nga ang akong feelings para kanimo dli buhok nga mapugngan ra

Maypa ang SONA ni Duterte, bisag sa gamay'ng oras nakuhaan pag leksyon. Pero ikaw, kanus-a paman ka makakuhag leksyon sa dugay anang walay klaro ninyong relasyon?

Maabot rajud ang panahon nga maka ingun kas imong ka ugalingun nga , maypag wala nalang ta ga ela

Ila-ilahon, hataga'g attention, pakiligon. Sa katapusan igo ra diay ka paasahon.

Higugmaa,ampingi, ug salig sa iyaha pra dili siya mawala sa imoha. Dili kay kung kanus-a wala na siya sa imong kinabuhi, dira pa nimo narealize na love diay nimo, na dapat giampingan ug gi saligan nimo siya.

Kung di man kita karun, magkita ra gihapon ta puhon.
Pag tama na ang mali, ug pag pwede na ang di pwede.

Maypa si A dili BC

GIKAPOY NAKO ANANG MGA SORRY NIMONG MURAG NAG SIRANG PLAKA SEG BALIK BALIK DI MAN GIHAPON MAKAAMGO

Bisan unsaon nimu ug papansin sa usa ka tao, kung wala siya'y plano mu'pansin nimo, wala gyapon epekto.

Dili sa tanan oras Bad Influence ang barkada. Naa lang gyu'y mga butang nga nindot buhaton, basta kuyog sila.

Ayaw sayanga ang usa ka Lalake nga gipangandoy sa uban Babae.

Ang tinoud nga nag'Higugmaay, dili dayon mu'Give-up sa Relasyon. Kay mangita pana siya ug Solusyon para maayo ang Sitwasyon.

Andam ko makakita nga naa kay kuyog nga lain, basta andam pud ka makakita unsaon nako siya pagdasok sa daplin.

Ayaw buhi-e ang mga butang nga dili nimo kaya makita nga gi'Gunitan sa uban.

Gipakilig ra ka.
Pero wala sya'y plano higugmaon ka.

Siya, mura ra na siyag sip-on. Nganong imoha pa mang pugngan para di ka biyaan kung at the first place mao naman jud iyang gusto ug mao pud ang makapa okay nimo?

Gikapoy naka? Pahuway sa gud. Kay kung kamo, kamo jud na. 

Love tika, love nimo siya. Love sad ka niya. 
Unsa mani? 
Palayo nalang ko kay basig ma'Love-bayan pa tamong duha. 

That sad Fact nga mas dako pa imong Agtang kaysa sa Chances nga magka'Crush imong Crush sa imo.

ANG GUGMA MORA RANAG CELLPHON BISAG ONSA KALIG ON DALI RA GUB ON.

Mutoo pako sa imong hugot kaysa imung mga butbot.

Dili kay nagbulag mo, dili napud ka mukaon diha. 
Kay ngano, gidala niyang kaldero sa kan-on ug sud-an?
Pagsure bi, magtarong gud ka. 
Mura ka'g na-Amaw diha.

That sad fact nga MAS HAYAG pang suga sa inyong CR kaysa sa relasyon ninyong duha. 

Hapit nako ma-Fall nimo ba... 
Ma'FALL-AN sa imoha ba! 

Biogesic ka, 'niya Lactum ko. Kumbaga INGAT KA para PANATAG AKO. 

Gipasakitan na gani ka, gibalikan gihapon nimo. Naay parada sa mga tanga unya, sa atubangan ka ha?

Di man ko brayt ug history peru maka hinumdom gihapon ko gi unsa ko nimo pagpa sakit.

Ikaw ang gisayang, dili dapat nimo siya hilakan.

Isa ra ka sayop,daotan na.

lisod higugmaon ang taw nga dili jud para sa atoa.

Dili man ko murag Police, pero nganong nisuko ka?

Sigeg paasa, mura bayag gwapo.

Love is blind? Pero nganong nauso man nang Love at first sight?

Busy siya, busy sa uban!

Cold kay noh? Dili ang panahon, imong uyab ba.

Samtang gi basa nako ang text ni crush ba. Unya ni shagit kog "PAASA KA!" Unya ni kalit rag tubag si Papa "NAA RAKO SILONG NAK!" Haha giatay samoka lagee.

Ang gugma murag bulangan. Naay mo biya, naa say mo ilog.

Para sa uban Lalake, ang Babae mura'g Barbie.
Dulaan, Huboan human biyaan.
Pero hinumdomi, ang tinuod nga lalake kay dili gadula ug Barbie.

Nag-Promise ka, nag-Promise sad sya.
Ang problema lang, ikaw nag-Seryoso unya sya naga-Binuang ra.

Dear Ma/Pa,
Dili man ko tapulan nga pagkatao, sadyang pala sugo lang jud mo.

Behind my smile is my teeth.
Dili ikaw, kasabot?
Nganad nalang? Dili seg abusar.

Sa panahon karon, ang gugma kay nagkapyot nalang sa Palami.
Wala na sa tinuod nga Gibati.

Kung baliwalaon gani tika ayg katingala kay gisundog rapud tika.

Kung kinsa pa tong dili kaayo blessed sa hulagway, mao pa'y pamati.
Maulaw sad ang mga maanyag ninyo oy.

"Nangitag Lain? wala mn gani ko nangitag lain. basi siya ang nangitag Lain"

Bantog ta gibiyaan anang mga tao na nagpasakit nato, kay naay bago mo abot na pasakitan ug biyaan pud tag usab.

Lord,
Kung dili man gani siya maako, kuhaa nalang siya.

Siya ra akong nag-inusarang Reyna sa kinabuhi, apan iya kong gibyaan ug nangita'g lain Hari.

Ang gugma, mura'g pag-ilis ug Presidente.
Muabot gyud ang panahon nga ma-ilisan ka, ma-way'ayo man ka o tarong ug dili gyud mo para sa usa't-usa, magbulag jud mo bisag unsa pamo kadugay.

Bahala'g dili ka ma-Akoa, basta kay ma-Imo lang ko. Payts na

Maypa si Digong, nanumpa na nga buhaton ang tanan paras Pilipinas.
Ikaw intawn, anus-a ka manumpa sa ko nga mag-tinarong ug buhaton ang tanan para sa akoa?